Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel very hurt by husbands treatment of me

6 replies

Notsure888 · 23/04/2026 13:25

I’m not sure what I’m looking for in this thread, maybe just looking to see if anyone else has been through similar.

I had a baby at the very end of last year. In the final months of my pregnancy I had some health issues but I was very excited to give birth. Unfortunately it didn’t all go to plan and I was treated terribly by some of the hospital staff after birth. I didn’t feel supported by my husband during this time, particularly in the weeks afterward where I was misdiagnosed repeatedly by the hospital culminating in me being rushed in as a medical emergency some weeks later. At that point my husband essentially said he hadn’t believed I felt that bad all those weeks. I felt alone during that time like I was missing out on the precious first few weeks of my child’s life and I’m sad I can’t get those weeks back. The months are flying by and I am still so hurt by things he has said and done and things I missed out on because of how ill I was.

I am no contact with my parents and have very few friends and I felt very lonely in those months. I get out and about with baby and have made some new friends in baby groups. But essentially I just feel forgotten about, and like my pain doesn’t matter to anyone least of all those it should matter to. My mother did some awful stuff after I gave birth which has hurt me considerably and I cannot entertain having a relationship with her or my father ever again.

I have another child with my husband and he didn’t treat me greatly after that birth but this is just too much, I wanted this birth to be a very healing experience and it hasn’t been. I have bonded really closely with my baby so I don’t think I have postnatal depression, I’m not particularly anxious about anything to do with baby either so don’t think I have anxiety. I just feel hurt and don’t know what to do to stop feeling hurt.

OP posts:
Pugglywuggly · 23/04/2026 13:51

He should have believed you when you said you felt awful, but in all honesty there have been times when I haven't fully believed my kids and then they've ended up in hospital with breathing issues, so I can see how it happens. What I think is crucial is how he behaved when it became apparent he'd got it wrong. If he then really stepped up and was very apologetic then it would be easier for me to let it go. If not then that is different and harder to get past.

Notsure888 · 23/04/2026 13:56

It’s not just after birth. Prior to that he did stuff too. For instance heavily pregnant and I stood in the wrong place for him to pick me up in the car. He completely lost it and berated me the whole way home to the point I was absolutely sobbing, didn’t even want him at the birth. All because of a miscommunication.

OP posts:
Notsure888 · 23/04/2026 13:57

I don’t feel he is sorry ever about anything. Maybe sorry stuff then affects him because I’m miserable but not sorry that he’s hurt me.

OP posts:
Pugglywuggly · 23/04/2026 18:26

Then that is very different. He's actually abusive, rather than he made a mistake and tried to rectify it. Does he add anything positive to your life? And if he does, does it hugely outweigh the negatives? Because now he's also programming your child's behaviour as well, so you need to be sure it's behaviour you want to see them have as a child, teen and an adult in society. And it doesn't sound like it is.

Charel2girl5 · 23/04/2026 18:29

Leave him, he’s a total dick! I just don’t understand what men are thinking when their partners are new mothers. My DH was a godsend and he never would have treated me like this. Tell everyone what he’s like and totally embarrass him to everyone that knows you.

Arlanymor · 23/04/2026 18:30

You sound like you are in a very abusive relationship I'm sorry to say. Your husband sounds awful. Really awful.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page