I’m not sure what I’m looking for in this thread, maybe just looking to see if anyone else has been through similar.
I had a baby at the very end of last year. In the final months of my pregnancy I had some health issues but I was very excited to give birth. Unfortunately it didn’t all go to plan and I was treated terribly by some of the hospital staff after birth. I didn’t feel supported by my husband during this time, particularly in the weeks afterward where I was misdiagnosed repeatedly by the hospital culminating in me being rushed in as a medical emergency some weeks later. At that point my husband essentially said he hadn’t believed I felt that bad all those weeks. I felt alone during that time like I was missing out on the precious first few weeks of my child’s life and I’m sad I can’t get those weeks back. The months are flying by and I am still so hurt by things he has said and done and things I missed out on because of how ill I was.
I am no contact with my parents and have very few friends and I felt very lonely in those months. I get out and about with baby and have made some new friends in baby groups. But essentially I just feel forgotten about, and like my pain doesn’t matter to anyone least of all those it should matter to. My mother did some awful stuff after I gave birth which has hurt me considerably and I cannot entertain having a relationship with her or my father ever again.
I have another child with my husband and he didn’t treat me greatly after that birth but this is just too much, I wanted this birth to be a very healing experience and it hasn’t been. I have bonded really closely with my baby so I don’t think I have postnatal depression, I’m not particularly anxious about anything to do with baby either so don’t think I have anxiety. I just feel hurt and don’t know what to do to stop feeling hurt.