TW sexual assault. Is there any point going to the police?

[Abusequestions]

All I read about online and see on social media is horror stories about how badly victims are treated and there is no justice.

I left an abusive partner five years ago. Abuse including some physical abuse and lots of sexual abuse including rapes.

We have a DD together so we have to coparent and I’d struggle financially without the maintenance he pays me. I didn’t speak to the police when I left him because I felt like I’d be worse off if I antagonised him.

Things have been ok but now I feel like he’s starting to escalate again. I’ve been putting some boundaries in place and he’s getting angry (by text mainly) that I’m not doing what he wants every time he asks anymore.

I’m feeling a bit scared. I think logically that it wouldn’t be in his interests to hurt me again now, but he’s unpredictable.

Honestly in my situation would you go to the police? Do you think it would do any good at this stage? DD is only six so I’ve got a long way to go before I’m free of him.

Is contact between he and your daughter court ordered?. If it’s not I would certainly keep her away from him and if it is he should only see her in a contact centre.

I don’t think I can do this. Absolutely would if I could.

You can get access court ordered.

Yes but until then I can’t just stop him seeing her I don’t think?

I’m thinking about going through the process properly for her sake. I saw a friend today and she said that whenever she sees DD with my ex she looks really sad and uncomfortable.

I think Pp are right that I need to at least try and keep her away from him.

(Just for anyone worried about my DD, school are aware of the situation and she is being safeguarded. They haven’t put anything in place and they don’t have any concerns about her seeing him)

(School have been aware since we split up, I told them the reasons)

If there's no court order you wouldn't be in breach of any law or legal rule to keep her away from him (though also, he can just keep her away from you). And it might be the way to go to force him to go to court for access, then you can get a schedule locked down so he can't just demand when he wants. Also an opportunity to request he use a contact centre, though you probably need a decent reason to request this without it looking like you're just being obstructive. But courts can look poorly on just stopping contact, depending on the judge and the circumstances. If you can, speak to a solicitor about what would be the most sensible approach - make it clear you think your ex makes your daughter unhappy and you're concerned about how he treats her. It may be that keeping things as they are but recording evidence of his lack of care for DD is a more certain way of getting the result in court that you want.

However, no court is going to look badly on you not just jumping through every hoop he sets. If he asks for contact without much notice or it's not convenient, just saying "No, that's not convenient. What about [whenever does suit you]?" and ignoring any ranting would be fine.