Finding my tribe

[Noonoo291]

I've been married for 24 years and have a son age 11. I've been self-employed my whole life, but I haven't really worked since I had my son. I was 44 when I had him after 10 long years of IVF and he really is the light of my life. The problem I have is I don't really fit in anywhere. Because I was the boss at work everyone there was just an employer. I did make some School Mum friends but now my son is at high school, I just don't see anyone. My business was very successful and as a result I have all the material things, but I'm certainly not one of the "beautiful people", I'm just an ordinary gal who's done well, so networking, going to the gym and all that is not my thing at all. I see everyone on Facebook (I know it's not real) going out with the girls and having a great time and it makes me really sad. My husband is a wonderful man, but he's a homebody and somethings are just not the same with a bloke. How do I make new friends when I don't fit in?

Do you have any hobbies? Are there any related clubs local you could join to expand your social circle?

OK. So what would you like to do? What sort of people would you think would be your tribe?

That's your starting point! The next step is where to find them!

Book clubs, running clubs, meet up groups, further education courses, pole dancing classes

I joined a Facebook group called women over 50s uk group meet for coffee. If there is not a regular meet up in your area you could start one. I also belong to a couple of walking groups but just do short leisurely walks followed by coffee rather than hikes and it’s a good way to meet people

You need to get out and meet people, joining a hobby or volunteering are often very good ways to start.

Thanks everyone. I lost my mum 18 months ago and it's hit me hard. We did so much together, I lost my best friend too. I need to get out there; I need to find out who I am without her I suppose. It's been tough

what sort of things did you and your mum like to do together?
meals out?
shopping?
theatre?

Just to get you to start thinking about what you might enjoy.
For example if you are a meals out person, then see if there is a supper club that runs in your area
If theatre, see if the local theatre has any kind of membership etc so you could get to knwo people.

Or put it out on facebook. - Looking for someone to regularly hit the shops with, coffee and cake an essential stop on the way and see what happens.

I found volunteering a good way to meet people. As others have suggested hobby groups. There is also Meet Up where they arrange events eg pub quizzes, Theatre trips etc you sign up for events in your area. Lots of ppl go along.