Would you be uncomfortable if your male partner was chatting to a female ‘friend’ in a way that was sexual? Or am I being too over sensitive as I don’t talk to men like this?
My partner has always been very protective over his phone and computer such as moving his phone so I cant see the screen. A couple of weeks ago his computer was not only left on but his facebook was open. I had initially only went into his study as he had left his light on and the window open (it was very cold in the house). For some reason I opened messenger and there was messages between him and a woman he used to work with. I have never met her even though I have met his other colleagues.
We have been together 8 years and at the start of our relationship I was uneasy about comments made between them on facebook-this was public. It was, from memory, she had made a comment on his post about being a ‘whore’ and he invited her to his house. He told me that she was a friend, that was how they got on plus his mother could see the posts so why would it be flirty. However I was uncomfortable at the sexual nature. I left it since we were in the early stages of dating but every time he posted on facebook she would comment. So after a few months of this I was upset so he set up his facebook so she could no longer see what he posted.
There have been several issues with my partner over the years which I wont get into as it would make this post too long, but basically when I try to discuss about feeling upset about something (e.g. his mother being cold towards me) he dismisses my feelings and makes me out to be the problem.
So (4 years now we have been living together) I find these messages between them. I didnt get to read much just the most recent as he came home unexpectedly as he forgot his phone. So what I did read has left me really uncomfortable. He said he was going on a work trip (which I knew about and I think this message was around the same time he messaged me to tell me) then there was an image which was a drawing of 2 people one person was whispering in the other person's ear. I am not sure if there was writing but this might be a meme. He replied to say that there are titties are all over his inbox. The messages after these were then just what I would call ‘normal’ chat such as he would be busy the whole time.
So I cant raise this with him as I have been snooping. Would you be uncomfortable with this? Actually do you chat to male friends like this? I know I don’t.