separation scenarios

[green]

ok. maybe the time has finally come. we spoke last night and i feel more sure than i have ever been. i hope i hold my nerve.

so, ladies/ gentlemen. please help me with this unchartered territory. what are the ways of doing this? i am happy to share care (3 kids - eldest 8, youngest 2). i am happy for him to stay in family home. not alot of spare cash (flow) although reasonable capital behind us. i don't want to work out the long term future yet (divorce?) but need to get my head around separation.

No experience of this, bumping for you though.

do you mean you are planning to move out? or that you live separate lives under one roof?

If you need advice on 'ways of doing this' then I think it will fall into different categories, such as emotional and practical.

I found the practical side quite easy but then I love making lists and getting organised. The emotional side is hellish; I think almost everyone experiences a rollercoaster of emotion. One day I felt happy and empowered, the next absolutely gutted and convinced i was doing the wrong thing.

I'm not sure from your post whether you need to talk thru the practical or emotional sides - if practical, start working out how much money you have versus how much money you need and do lots of lists, if it is emotional, talk to as many people who will listen or seriously think about paying a professional - it was a big shock to me just how many people I thought were close friends who were very dismissive and really didn't want to listen to me.

good luck. Its horrible (I think) but I'm holding on the hope that 12 months down the line life will be completely different (and much better)

H and I have been separated for 6 months, but still lived together for the first 3.

As soon as we decided to officially separate, I claimed WFTC/CTC etc for me and two dc (work part-time, ds 13, dd5). Amazingly Inland Rev were really good and said that my claim would start from the date we decided to no longer live together as a couple.

Things were a tad difficult for the first 3 months (sleeping arrangements etc) but we both knew the right decision was made.

We are both really happy that he now has a place of his own.

What else do you need advice about?

i separated last year, lived under the same roof for two months while i found somewhere else to live. we agreed ex should keep the house and buy me out for lots of reasons.

here for emotional support if you need it......and i'm 9 months down the road now and life is more or less settled for me. I have to accept that the emotional aspect of shared care with my son will always be hard to deal with but everything else has worked out just fine. I'm the happiest i've been in a very long time.