Would you see this inconsistency about his ex as a significant lie?

[Driver66]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We get on well and are both in our 30s.
weve talked about significant past relationships and what’s caused them to end etc.
we were looking back at the photos shared between us on WhatsApp to see one that was sent at the start on holidays and a conversation popped up from the first few weeks we met ( to be honest I wouldn’t have recalled this conversation if it hadn’t came up) where basically he said his last relationship ended on good terms bad lasted 3 years. This is not what he has told me since (said it was around 2 years, she cheated and broke his heart and then haven’t spoke since). Now I’m wondering why then he said that at the start? Like I said I didn’t remember what he said or not but seems strange.

would you consider this a significant lie? Obviously he doesn’t owe me his full relationship history if he doesn’t want to share it but just different to what he has then said

When I asked him he said tha break up really hurt him so that’s why he thinks he said that (although he also seemed a bit surprised to read that)

No I wouldn’t find that significant at all. He was protecting himself and probably didn’t want to dredge up his hurt feelings in front of a woman he’s interested in and only just met

I’m trying to think that way too. But then I’ve let people treat me badly before so don’t want anyone to walk over me again so trying to take a balanced approach

I wouldn’t consider it a significant lie if he’d breezily alluded to it. I’d just assume he doesn’t really want to talk about it, which of itself isn’t a major red flag either

if he’s concocted an entire story then maybe a bit more of a red flag

I don’t understand this whole talking about your exes with a new partner. I couldn’t give a monkeys who my partner dated in the past and I didn’t want to talk about my ex.

I think it’s strange to not know someone’s past significant relationship, if they were married, cohabited etc

Not at all. agree with @AbzMoz and @somanychristmaslights.

Around two years and three years isn't that much difference. And he's every right to maybe explain it ended amicably if he wasn't ready to talk about the fact it didn't.

I don't think anyone has the right to know their partners relationship past in any more detail than they're comfortable giving. As long as they're not hiding abuse from their side.

Yes I think he just didn’t want to talk
about it yet. I’ve missed a few red flags in the past so im glad to get other perspectives on this

Maybe the relationship was 3 years but she cheated for the past year of it, so when he got to know you better, he said 2 years as realistically that was the “true” length.

Maybe the relationship was 2.5 years and one time he rounded up, one he rounded down.

Women are told that men who blame their ex’s for a break up are scared flag, so maybe he thought saying it was amicable was safer for him.

Maybe the break up was amicable but he was still left with a broken heart.

I don’t see anything that I would be worried about unless you think he’s lying about other things.

That wouldn't bother me. I don't think it's anything to worry about. He's just kept it vague when you first met, but then as you've got to know him you've found out more detail.

Exactly. He would have been wanting to avoid coming across weak or needy at that stage

It would be different if he'd cheated and tried to hide that, but in this situation I don't think his omission is a big deal.

Is it possible that he felt hurt and humiliated and didn't want you to see that at the beginning of your relationship? If he's been honest about it since then, now that he knows you better, I wouldn't be worried about this. Past relationships can still hurt years afterwards when you've had your heart broken. I'd honestly cut him some slack about this.

I agree with PPs, I don’t think it’s weird that he didn’t talk about his broken heart in the first couple of weeks of knowing you.

I tend to agree. For some reason people rush into dissecting past relationships from date one. I literally will not go on a second date with a guy who opens with "so, how long have you been single for" instead of actually getting to know me. Neither would I go on a second date with someone who starts trauma dumping on me about every failed relationship they've ever had even if they are completely transparent about their role in a breakup. It's just unacceptable.
When you ask someone about their past relationships early on, you are a stranger. Do we reveal our heart and soul to strangers? I don't think so. We give them a manicured version and change the subject.

Thanks everyone

It depends if he's lied about anything else.

On its own, might just be not wanting to dump on a new relationship.

If he regularly omits or fabricated, then there's an issue.

I agree. I’ve also made the mistakes of opening up to new dates about heartbreak and I don’t do it now

I actually think this is a bit of a green or beige flag in that he was emotionally intelligent enough to not bring his past hurt into the very early stages of new/ promising relationship.

If he'd have started talking about being cheated on in the first few weeks of being with me I'd be thinking, sigh, here we go another wronged man whinging on about his ex. As it was it sounds like he came up with some bland waffle to shut it down and as you've got to know each other better the proper story is coming out.

He didn't want to come across as trauma-dumping on you.