Concerns about son-in-law's behaviour and safe contact with grandson

[LoudRedLeader]

Hi Not sure what category this should be in but asking if anyone else has been in this situation but looking for advice/experience.
Our daughter’s marriage has broken down and her and 2 year old grandson has moved back home. Managing reasonably well but issues with her husband.
We suspect he is taking drugs due to change in behaviour and massive financial difficulties despite him earning a very good salary.
Our daughter is reluctant to allow their son to stay in the old family home atm because of the above. Has anyone broached a similar situation and how did it go, he denies the drugs but will not explain where money is going month after month and becomes aggressive (verbally) if challenged.
She doesn’t want to stop him seeing his son but have major concerns and he wants more than to meet at a neutral venue and have him for half a day.
Obviously more complicated than described but I am trying to save my daughter from the additional stress and upset that challenging the situation will inevitably bring. TIA

Unless there is a court order, she can set the expectations as she’d like. I’d put all her concerns in writing only (do not communicate by phone or in person), everything written down, what she’s offering and why. He can accept it or he can take her to mediation or court. She can again express her concerns then if it gets to that stage. She needs to show she is being reasonable and also taking steps to keep their son safe. He isn’t owed contact. Contact is for the benefit of their child only. And it’s no benefit if he’s off his face or on a come down.

Can you get more evidence about the drugs? Could also be a gambling habit.

Financial difficulties could be a whole variety of things.

agree can you try to evidence anything?

what sort of behaviour change and what drugs do you suspect?

she can stop access but he will most likely go to court so you’d want evidence.

If he won't agree to her suggestions then they either have to find a compromise or she waits until he decides to take her to court.
She needs clear evidence as that's the only.thing a court will listen to.
As a word of caution, my ds was 2 when I quite literally had to run for our lives. Ex was given access as not deemed to be a risk to the child , drug tests were negative and behaviour changes were blamed on medical issues.
I'm not putting my own story onto your daughter but she must log everything.
Without a court order or him making an application for mediation/court she's free to make her own decisions, but it's important not to be seen to be witholding contact as judges don't like that either.