Once the honeymoon period wears off, the cracks start to show. Whether that’s taking the other for granted, being annoyed by the other person, boredom etc. That then leads to big symptoms of unhappiness like affairs or walking out on someone.
Every marriage I know of has resulted in things going pear shaped after a few years. Even those who seemed blissfully happy at one time and no one thought it would ever go wrong. Of course a lot of people do stay together for big reasons such as children, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy. My parents stayed together despite my dad’s many affairs and I don’t think they are unusual.
Myself, I’m married but a few years down the line I realised a long time ago how rubbish it all is. We own a house together but that’s all we share these days - separate rooms, we don’t have sex or anything close, we don’t go out together anymore, we don’t eat together etc. We argue at times but really I try to avoid him as much as I can. It’s like having a roommate I don’t want to see much.
People can tell me to leave, to turn my life (and my cat’s life) upside down, but then I wonder if they is even worth it. I am not interested in having a relationship again as I know they all go downhill in the end. I do have periods where I would like a sexual relationship but I couldn’t have sex with someone without knowing them so it’s a catch 22.
I would be content and happy being single living on my own for the rest of my days but it comes down to finances. Half my property wouldn’t buy much where I am (and my husband would be very difficult about selling, he likes this roommate / ownership arrangement), and I don’t want to rent and also have my cat to think about. I’d rather just stay put than deal with that hassle at the moment.
My husband knows how I feel but he is happy with the current situation as it’s comfortable for him. He just cares about being comfortable financially. I feel like I’m just waiting out the rest of my life now with very little pleasure. I haven’t even been on holiday in years as he would never go, I don’t have close friends to go with and my family don’t invite me along with them anymore as I’m married. I wish someone had told me what happens a few years down the line.