How do people get over emotionally unavailable parents? Back story my mum died 28 years ago I am now 50 but as a family we didn't have a brilliant childhood. My Dad never wanted to marry my Mum he was forced to but he never divorced her either they just had a dreadful marriage. He's really quiet and everyone thought he was lovely but he had multiple affairs and used to say it was because she was fat and ugly. He often called her a f**ing fat cow and other names he often slept in my bed and I went in with my Mum.
Over the years he has never been there either as a Father or a Grandfather but I still persist in trying to maintain a relationship.
He didn't used to come round and see them, watch them at sports or school plays. He would come for Christmas every year and not say a word this Christmas was the only year he didn't come as my husband no way was he spoiling another one.
My brother says he wants nothing to do with him the way he brought us up has made him exactly the same way quiet and unavailable.
My other brother said to let it go to concentrate on my own family that's what he does that he couldn't care less about my brother and I that his family was all that mattered.
My Dad is unwell and I've been worried but he doesn't let me help by asking the Dr's about what comes next or come to appt's etc
Everyone thinks he such a lovely man and he is to strangers, people at the pub, women but to his own children he has just never been there.
How have other people got over this? I've had therapy but it was CBT therapy and didn't really delve into my issues with him.
I can't believe this is still affecting me.