Nasty or normal?

[toots123]

Dd11 has had the same best friend for approx 5 years. They get on well and it mostly works. But over the years shes had some nasty comments from her BF and I've had to put it down to age and leave them be as I would rather not get involved.
Recently though some of the comments have been worse for example, asking if the bad smell was DD. Asking to see birthday presents she received then saying she is bragging. Asking if she has a certain toy (yes) then saying how she doesnt like said toy but suddenly buying the same toy. I heard her asking DD one day if her mum eats pizza to which DD replied saying yes of course! Her reply was that her mum doesnt eat pizza as she likes to stay healthy.

Its very competitive, is this just normal for this age?
If this was a boyfriend we would be running for the hills but is it just kids being kids?

It's very common in Y7 for primary school friendship groups to shatter and new ones form at secondary.

I would gently encourage your DD to widen her base of people, Y7 is a good time to try a new club or activity.

(And I'd be furious, but trying to remain an adult!)

I recognise some of this behaviour in my self when I was that age. It’s bizarre as I absolutely adored my best friend at the time (best friends through all of primary until her parents moved for work), but I would say mean things like this. Reflecting back I think I was very jealous of her as she had a lovely family, but my home life was not good at all. Everyone has their own reasons why though, so might not be the same! Thankfully I grew out of it after that, but if someone had said to me at the time you know you’d loose this person if you carry on the behaviour, I’d like to think I would have changed.

It definitely sounds as though your DD's friend is jealous of your DD.
If things have escalated recently I would be wondering if something is going on in her friends life and she is taking it out on your DD.

I think there can be a level of jealousy and competition in children's friendships at this age. If DD seems upset by it, encourage her to speak up for herself. And encourage other friendships too. The 'best friend' dynamic can be too intense with girls especially as they tend to use social currency as a weapon when they fall out (ostracising and isolating)