Hi !
Does anyone here play a team sport? I need guidance on relationships with team mates.
So I’m in my late 30s and a few months ago I started playing a team sport (totally new to me).
The vibe in the group is kind of cliquey (most are between 20 and 30). There’s clearly a core group, and then everyone else (newer people, quieter ones, shy ones) is a bit on the side. Sometimes they’ll organise stuff (like going to a big game in our sport) just between themselves and not tell everyone, even though we have a whatsapp group where we talk about our sport. Another example, when each one arrives at practice, most people (mostly the clique + a few others) do not say 'Hi' when they arrive or to people arriving.
We have a very experienced coach and she’s really nice overall (but also doesn't says Hi to most people). But there are a couple of players who make comments about others during games/practice, and sometimes it’s pretty harsh. There’s one who comments on basically every little mistake, in a sarcastic tone, and nobody really says anything about it. One shouts as people when frustrated. (It only happened to me a few times, I’ve seen way worse directed at other people, and sometimes it’s really awkward to watch. I did call her out once when she shouted at someone else. She apologised but did it again a few weeks after).
That’s what bothers me the most. I don’t care about not being best friends with everyone (I have a full time job and 2 kids ). But the cliqueyness and negative comments on the field are annoying and ruins my fun. If I mess up, I know I messed up. I don’t need someone pointing it out right away. And again, I'm usually not the main target.
My husband has come to watch a few times and every time he’s like wow they seem kind of cold, weird and unkind . At first I thought it was just me being new, but now I’m like okay maybe it’s not just me.
Individually some people are really nice. But as a group, I just don’t get the dynamic.
Is this just how team sports are sometimes and I need to get used to it? Or is this more like a 'this team has a weird vibe' situation ? Curious what people think.