I have definitely been in a co-dependent relationship. We have two kids. The thought of our relationship in ten years when the kids are teenagers scares me. I am scared of breaking it up and scared of staying
www.coda-uk.org/index.cfm?pageid=40
Me - self esteem issues and control
DH - excessive compliance
I have done a lot of work www.hoffmaninstitute.co.uk/ and feel that I am different person with better self esteem and less controlling. However, I honestly know that the reason that I got together with DH all those years ago was because I was such a bloody mess.
He has done the same course as me at the Hoffman Institute but although having dealt with a lot of demons doesn't seem to have changed in the way I want him to. But I know you can't change someone, they have to change themselves.
Maybe we are incomptabile, I don't want to sleep with him (the sex was always pretty crap) and am just zoning out of our marriage.