Need advice? Been with my husband for 28 years and have 3 children together. He works full time and brings the money in and I’m a stay at home mum, one of my daughters is disabled and had lots of health issues.
Need to give some back story so it makes sense. We have had a very rocky past, have split up a number of times over his drinking, drug taking and physical abuse. Last time was over 13 years ago, we got back together after he promised me (again)he would never take drugs again and would limit his alcohol, only drink beer and not spirits. The drinking part only lasted about a year or so of only the occasional beer to now it’s about 4 bottles a wine a week, half a bottle of whiskey and god knows how many beers!! That’s been causing a lot of issues as he is short tempered and never thinks he is doing anything wrong. When he is good everything is great, loving husband and dad but when it’s bad he is so arrogant and nasty, never in the wrong, it’s always me. He gaslights me all the time.
I’ve just found out today that he has been taking cannabis gummies, weed vapes, vapes, nicotine stickers. I’ve only found out as my little one spilled his juice all over his work bag and I quickly emptied it so things didn’t get wet and found it all. Went to speak to him and as usual went into total deflection mode as I shouldn’t have emptied the bag or I should I shouted him to get it. After begging him to sit and talk to me and not walk away like he always does he Said it started a few years ago. He doesn’t see the big deal with it and just said it’s not his fault we have very different views on it. I’ve walked out the house as I just couldn’t look at him. He isn’t sorry for lying to me for years he is just sorry he got caught and I know deep down I should leave as he will never change but at the same time I’m just about to blow my family apart. Things are already horrendous, my daughter has lots of health issues, my dad has terminal lung cancer. I don’t have any money, I’m totally reliant on him for everything. I wouldn’t be able to afford to keep our house on. If I do leave to apply for a council house I know my daughter will not cope and it’s going to be horrendous as well as all the distress I’m going to put my other kids and my parents through. I just don’t know what to do. I have no one to talk to, my sister was my best friend and she died a few years ago and I’ve got no one else as I can’t speak to my parents about it.