He asked to be official and has went distant ever since.

[Beeloux]

Met a guy on a dating app just under 2 months ago. Met up shortly after and everything seemed to go great. Met up once or twice a week insinuated by himself. Conversation has always flowed and we seemed to have so much in common.

Last week, he asked to make things official. I said yes and he then sent a relationship request on Facebook. Found this a bit odd but accepted.

I’ve seen him twice since then. All seemed to go great. However ever since becoming ‘official’, his replies are much shorter, no emojis, vague and he’s taking much longer to reply than usual. He’s been off work all week. I’ve tried keeping the conversation flowing but it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m meeting a dead end and can’t be arsed anymore. His instagram followings and followers have also went up ever since (I know I shouldn’t be checking).

I don’t know whether to mention something but I don’t want to come across clingy. Or do I just mirror his energy and back off too? I just don’t see the point of him asking to be official if he wanted something casual. We were intimate on the second date so not exactly made him wait or chase.

For context, I’m 28 and a single mum, he’s 33 year old, never married and no dc.

Any advice appreciated!

you are being paranoid
just let stuff happen at whatever pace they occur at
hardly your first time at dating

How weird.
The cat has got the cream and lost interest?

I think you need to asks 'is everything ok, you seem distant'

Oh dump him. Who cares why he’s now acting like this? I wouldn’t waste your time trying to psychoanalyse him.

it wouldn’t be clingy to ask him why the fuck he has changed but ultimately, this hand wringing just two months into a relationship probably shows it isn’t the one for you

It’s been 2 months and this is what’s happening. Forget trying to chase him, that seems to be what he wants. You’ll be chasing him throughout your relationship if you carry on

Match his energy. Be busy. See how he reacts

Thanks all! Haven’t had many relationships and the last one was a while ago but most have been lovebombers so I have my guard up. The last one wanted to be official early on, supposingly booked a night away for my birthday present then ended things abruptly a few days before. 🙃

I really can’t be arsed anymore. Think if it continues for the next few days, I’ll end things. My gut tells me something is up.

Thanks again!

Was he rushing to make it ‘official’ on FB to make someone else jealous or something?

Fuck him, not literally. He’s just another time wasting tosser wanting an ego boost.

Ask him straight - if he isn’t mirroring your effort then he isn’t seeing your value and is wasting your time and emotions. It’s difficult though if you like him and invested in that way xxx

Thanks all. I brung up that he appeared distant and if he was having second thoughts then that was fine. He was shocked and assured me he did want to be with me. Seemed to put a lot more effort in over message but that only lasted a few days.

I’ve lost interest now. Nothing is coming from the relationship and he’s not putting any effort in.

That’s a shame but no more effort now -
know your worth - you are a valuable human who deserves and will be seen properly x

If you're not happy in any relationship you can just end it.

You said he initiated all of the dates over the 2 months. I was just wondering then if you put in any effort. Did you treat for any of the dates or go dutch sometimes, or did he pay for everything? Just playing devil's advocate to maybe look from his POV. Maybe he's seeing if you begin making plans with him so he doesn't have to do all the paying and planning. But if you've made equal effort in planning and paying, then of course the relationship regressing is concerning. Guess you've given him a chance through communication and he dropped the ball so now you'll drop him.

I have. I always cook and provide drink when he comes over. It’s never reciprocated when I go over to his. He asked to come over last weekend then flaked at the very last minute (literally 5 minutes before he was due to arrive).

I think he’s just not interested! Feels like a fwb situation so I don’t know why he asked to make things official😩

Thanks all for the replies :)

No. At this stage he should be making you feel like a princess. Anything less - ditch him.

Yeah good move to forget him. You cooking for him and him not reciprocating. He's not bothered is he? Seems to think a Facebook relationship request (is it 2008?) is enough then minimal effort.

He's a time waster.

He's wasting your time and you deserve far better. Ignore him - you don't need this fool in your life.