Dating in your 40s….what does it look like?

[Lifegoeson2025]

I’m 45, almost divorced, 2 children (15 and 10). Been dating someone (46, no kids) for about 10/11 weeks and all is going well. My children are with me all week and see their dad on Saturdays.

Man I’m dating is very understanding and says he’s happy to work around childcare arrangements and ‘we’ll make it work’, which is great. We tend to see each other on Wednesdays (my parents babysit) and at the weekend.

Is this arrangement normal when you’re dating in your 40s? I’m guessing it has to be very different to being 16 without a care in the world!

Interested to hear what others do.

There really is no normal. Stick to what's important, which is what's best for the kids, which is getting them used to a new family dynamic with the least amount of stress. So of course, they can't be introduced to your new partner at this early point, so you have to stick with the twice a week dates for now. Probably best to wait another 10 or 12 months for that to happen, to ensure this is a serious longterm relationship, which can't be known in the honeymoon stage. Might seem like a long time, but you have to veer toward the safe side when it comes to a child's mental health. After a year, that twice a week can expand since he will then be allowed to be around your kids. If his goal is longterm and he sees you as everything he wants in a woman, if he's a quality man, he will be patient.

@ScorpionLioness79Great advice, thank you x

I’d say prioritise your family commitments and see your date when you can. It’s too early for any introductions yet so it’s just grabbing the odd night when you’re both free.
I have older Dc’s and the guy I’m dating does too. But he’s keen to book the next date and consistent with communication so that all you can ask for right now.

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot recently OP so I’m hoping others will be able to answer it!

Exited a long term relationship late last year and
and have a toddler most of the week, so parental responsibilities and work means that I don’t have much time to invest into looking for someone.
I also don’t find the idea of using dating apps for that appealing (especially as I believe most women get a lot of likes, and as an averagely attractive male, I may not stand out).

Have tried a couple of social / meet up groups but not too keen on the events which are drink focused.

@CaffeinatedSeagullDating apps are tough, but if you’ve got a thick skin you’ll be fine!

You may find them OK, a decent rate for men is about 1 Like a week.