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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel disrespected, why invite me ?

27 replies

Karlaken · 09/04/2026 02:17

I ended up going on a work trip with this man that I previously hooked up with 8 months ago while out of town. We had a long-distance situation going on 3 months prior to me actually meeting him for the first time. After the hookup and us meeting, we stayed in contact this whole time. It never progressed to anything serious.

During our time of communication, he’s always been jealous? Monitoring my posts, making it a priority to tell me he’s caught me with other men out of town just by seeing my socials, yet claims he doesn’t care, etc. So stuff like that, asking me who I’m with on Valentine’s Day, reacting to me being out on dates with other men.

Fast forward to recently, he invites me on a work trip to Vegas. This is the third work trip he’s invited me on, yet the only one I agreed to take, so I go. He ended up paying $400 for my flight last minute. He gets a hotel, a very nice one of course, this is paid by his employer. The whole trip I was stunned, I felt disappointed and disrespected. We were intimate twice during the trip, he was extremely clingy throughout the night. I would wake up to his hand on my chest or just him extremely close to me. Yet that didn’t bother me.

During the whole trip, he was making comments about other women right to me. I know he’s single and so am I, I didn’t take the trip going into it thinking this would turn into anything. Yet the comments became disrespectful and slightly intentional. These are some of the remarks he would make

“Aye, did you see that girl’s butt? It looked too good, has to be fake.”

There were times where the stripper buses would go by with a number on the front, he would tap me and say, “Hey, hurry, write that number down.”

“I wanna go to a strip club.”

“Is the girl singing the song we hear a baddie?”

There was a time when I was standing right next to him and this one chick was giving him eye contact. He turns his whole body to face her right in front of me and just stares at her. I removed myself and wandered around, and it took him 7 minutes to call me to find out where I was.

While we were walking, he would purposely stop and talk to stripper promoters and ask questions right in front of me.

He was doing all this while spending money on me, us going to dinner, breakfast together.

I’m a very beautiful girl, so I was getting stares and compliments 24/7. While he was working, I was out shopping for hours, and there were men stopping me asking to pay for my things, etc. Yet I wasn’t going to throw that in his face. Even while he was at his work conference, he was still texting me asking me where I’m at, what I’m doing, etc.

I’m just confused why you would waste your money and fly a girl to you on your trip just to act like this. Why not just go alone?

Mods please don’t delete this, this isn’t a repost, just my version that I couldn’t explain.

OP posts:
moderate · 09/04/2026 02:20

This is indeed a repost because despite a little extra detail in the preamble, your question is exactly the same and everyone’s answer will be exactly the same.

Newnamehiwhodis · 09/04/2026 02:25

He’s an insecure little twat who is trying very hard to get under your skin. Look up “negging.”
ignore him and move on.

Clonakilla · 09/04/2026 02:29

Stares and compliments 24/7 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Surely you don’t need to waste your time with this idiot. Why is your self esteem
so low do you think?

themidnightmoon76 · 09/04/2026 03:23

I've read this before

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 09/04/2026 03:40

You again. You may be very beautiful but you must have low self esteem to put up with this, and then keep posting about it. If you're so hot why did you go on holiday with this loser?

MyTrivia · 09/04/2026 03:55

Being beautiful doesn’t stop someone from getting treated like crap by shitty men.

Stop obsessing over this loser and don’t go on holiday with him ever again. In fact, cut him off.

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 04:59

your a mug he's a creep end of and aww your so beautiful get a grip big head much if you where you could get better than a creepy sleaze

LoudSnoringDog · 09/04/2026 05:03

The only thing I’ve gained from reading your post is that Las Vegas sounds crap. Buses of “strippers “???

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 05:05

This reply has been deleted

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CypressGrove · 09/04/2026 05:14

I’m just confused why you would waste your money and fly a girl to you on your trip just to act like this. Why not just go alone?

Well he doesn't seem to have an issue paying for sex generally.

MyTrivia · 09/04/2026 05:22

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 04:59

your a mug he's a creep end of and aww your so beautiful get a grip big head much if you where you could get better than a creepy sleaze

If you’re very attractive, it can actually make you more of a target for nasty men if you don’t have a well developed sense of yourself and what you deserve.

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 06:01

MyTrivia · 09/04/2026 05:22

If you’re very attractive, it can actually make you more of a target for nasty men if you don’t have a well developed sense of yourself and what you deserve.

but she's the 1 calling herself attractive I don't think I would ever say I was good looking on a post just screams up there self's mean she could have 3 eyes i just think calling your self beautiful to a page of randoms is weird

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 06:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RunningOnEmptyish · 09/04/2026 06:09

LoudSnoringDog · 09/04/2026 05:03

The only thing I’ve gained from reading your post is that Las Vegas sounds crap. Buses of “strippers “???

If you’ve never been there, thank your lucky stars.

Princessfluffy · 09/04/2026 06:10

He thinks he bought you OP

Morepositivemum · 09/04/2026 06:12

Some people have that personality or that personality takes hold because it’s vegas, the ooh look women lads mentality. He may have found it funny, I don’t think it was anything on you but based on how he acted before he met you and the checking who you’d met etc he doesn’t sound great, Id leave it all op, I don’t think there’s a lot to read into it, he’s just not for you especially if you’re thinking about it still

SUUUUUUNNNNN · 09/04/2026 06:47

If this is indeed real you need to find your self respect. Counselling may help.

Classiclines · 09/04/2026 07:57

He doesn't respect ANY woman OP, given how you describe his behaviour.

Why should you be any different?

To him you are just another woman to objectify and buy.

1000StrawberryLollies · 09/04/2026 08:12

During our time of communication, he’s always been jealous? Monitoring my posts, making it a priority to tell me he’s caught me with other men out of town just by seeing my socials, yet claims he doesn’t care, etc. So stuff like that, asking me who I’m with on Valentine’s Day, reacting to me being out on dates with other men.

Fast forward to recently, he invites me on a work trip to Vegas.

Why on earth was there any 'fast forward to recently'? It's obvious from the first paragraph I quoted that you should have immediately recognised that he was an utter twat and had no more to do with him. You must have either very poor self-esteem or terrible taste in men (or both).

This is yet another one of these threads where an OP wastes time tying herself in knots trying to work out 'why he behaves like that' instead of just cutting him loose and moving on.

FoolOfShips · 09/04/2026 08:15

Why the hell are you giving this idiot the time of day?

Cut him out of your life and don't look back.

Mogbiscuit · 09/04/2026 08:19

Las Vegas sounds seriously sleazy.
If you don't like the way this man behaved there you will know to refuse nect time.

User56785 · 09/04/2026 08:40

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 06:01

but she's the 1 calling herself attractive I don't think I would ever say I was good looking on a post just screams up there self's mean she could have 3 eyes i just think calling your self beautiful to a page of randoms is weird

I don’t. You know of you are good looking or not. You know if people's are perusing you. I don’t think that means ‘screams up there self’s’

It’s not a failing or indeed a persons fault if people them attractive and of course in some religions women have to hide their beauty to stop men from desiring.

I agree with the posters saying this bloke is a wanker and he’s never going to treat you well.

Credittocress · 09/04/2026 10:00

Paying £400 for your flight is cheaper than paying for a prostitute for the weekend.

moderate · 09/04/2026 12:12

reptilemad1985 · 09/04/2026 06:01

but she's the 1 calling herself attractive I don't think I would ever say I was good looking on a post just screams up there self's mean she could have 3 eyes i just think calling your self beautiful to a page of randoms is weird

The whole post does rather smack of humblebrag.

Anonanonanonagain · 09/04/2026 12:47

Second post this week about the same guy. Once again, WHY DID YOU GO?