For those who identified as anxiously attached, and have been through therapy and done work to deal with things from childhood, what signs do you have that you're now more secure?
If you did personal work and subsequently made new friendships and dated or entered into a romantic partnership, in what ways did you find yourself different? Did a lot of people 'drop off' because they weren't aligned anymore?
I would consider myself a recovering codependent. I say that in reference to how we speak about alcoholics - eg an alcohol who hasn't touched alcohol in decades but continues going to AA. I've noticed I'm different in a many ways now, eg I find certain things a turn off, such as when people shut down, give the silent treatment and can't have a reasonable discussion and repair around conflict. In the past, if there was a disagreement I may have felt guilty or fought to be heard, but now I allow people to be themselves, and if they don't want to resolve things I let the relationship drift as it's not in alignment with me.
I'm wondering what things to really look out for when meeting new people, and I'm curious what people have experienced if they've been through that and observed themselves being different. How did you notice you were more 'securely attached'? How about during pain moments or crises, and also good moments? Do you still actively work on these patterns?
Thanks 🙏