How can I help my 80yr old mum adjust when I move nearby?

[Katsun]

Any tips or suggestions on how to help my Mum adjust when I move out. I’ve lived with her for almost 2 years after my stepdad passed away. I’m moving a few mins walk away but I can see she’s already anxious about me going although we plan to eat evening meal together most nights etc. We have spent a lot of time together, weekends & holidays over last few years and in hindsight I should have probably ‘done my own thing’ more in readiness. She has lots of friends which she sees during the week (mostly married) so weekends become tricky (I work some weekends) How does she get used to enjoying her own time? Shes very active for 80, gardening, driving places etc. I have a brother but always busy 🙄 I feel a bit torn but need to make a new home & enjoy it.

If you’re going to eat most meals together, save the money and stay? ;)
If you want to build your own network (and imo you should!) sign up for classes/book club - she’s welcome along too but you’re doing the activity ‘out’. Similarly holidays - one with her, one doing your own thing.
she gets used to it by just doing it - are there other clubs she can consider outside of her normal married friends? Or volunteering at a local park which plays into her hobbies

Most widows live on their own and manage well enough. You are going to be close by, and planning to drop in several times a week. She will have to get used to it. I have. You need to forge ahead with your own life too.

You need to rip the plaster off and just do it. She will cope, and probably far better than you think she will.

And arrange to eat with her say twice a week with one of those things evenings at a local restaurant.

You need firm and consistent boundaries with your mother as they have become blurred with she expecting your company every day. You need a life of your own independent of her.

You say you can see she is 'already anxious'. But there is nothing to be anxious about so you have to try to ignore that anxiety, and not feed into it. You are going to be nearby and see her most days. She needs to get used to you not being there the whole time and the only way she will do that is simply to do it. Don't make it a big thing.