Is my child forever linked to his father after a Clare's Law request?

[BemusedMumma]

So I had a baby with a man who turned out to not be that nice - I gave birth to my son and he text me to say he had changed his mind. Horrible at the time, but probably a blessing in hindsight.

My son asked to meet him (let’s call him X) when he was about 5, so I messaged to ask him, but I also did a Clare’s law request. It took ages - so we ended up meeting X, my son was happy, the next day X text to say he wasn’t interested in staying in touch.

Months passed and the police finally replied to my request, said X was known and we should avoid him, said there were some mental health issues & violence. I explained what had happened, said I wouldn’t be meeting him again.

A year or so later I got a call saying he shouldn’t be allowed near our child. I again said this wasn’t a worry as we had nothing to do with him.

My son was subsequently found to have a rare genetic disorder- I requested a CIN assessment. He’s somehow still linked to us despite not even being on the birth certificate. The social worker then contacted X as part of the assessment 😡he declined to be involved, but I was annoyed that he was even contacted and it’s not like he has PR and he’s only known to them through the Clare’s law request. I was told it was all fixed and we wouldn’t be linked. Then today I received a CIN report and his name and address is on the second line! Plus his other child is mentioned throughout.

Is this normal? Are my son and I linked to this man forever because of the Clare’s law request??

You can request that social services do not share any of your/your child's personal information with this individual unless they have proof of paternity.

His name is not on the birth certificate - I take it he doesn't pay any maintenance - and if so he is unlikely to take you to court to get a DNA test from your child.

What do you mean by linked? But yes it is very weird they contacted your ex if he is not on the BC

He's linked because he's his father. I'm afraid that can't be undone

I mean it just sounds like a paperwork formality really. If the guy doesn’t want involvement then I wouldn’t worry too much. If anything it’s a good thing as nasty sorts never like to do what you want so if he thinks you want him to be involved in his sons life, chances are he’ll stay away longer.

Thanks - I was just confused as to why he was contacted to be honest. He’s literally not connected to us other than by the Clare’s law request. I don’t feel he should have been made aware that I was requesting a CIN assessment, it’s purely for disability support, not safeguarding, but even if it was, he was flagged as a safeguarding risk - so why reach out!

I don’t think they should have shared his personal information like his address with me - the police never shared that and I’m worried if they’ve shared mine!

I will try the proof of paternity - thanks

he was flagged as a safeguarding risk

I would query the reason for them contacting him then, it had the potential to be disastrous for you, didn't it? Do it via email and get a written response.

I don't know how these things normally work but I agree with you that it seems unreasonable for them to have contacted him about the assessment. They definitely shouldn't have shared his address with you and I would also be concerned about what information of yours they had shared with him.

It’s totally inappropriate that you’ve been given his details, and info about any other children.

If theyve done that, then the likelihood of them making that error the other way round and sharing info with him too is pretty high.

If you haven’t already it’s worth considering making a complaint focussed on their data management and disclosure of sensitive information. That should be handled by their data protection officer who should be better at fixing iy properly.

What do you mean he's not connected to your son? He's the boy's father! There's no getting away from that, just as you will always be linked to your son, no matter what.

Do you think it’s at all possible that she’s referring to a connection in data records that resulted in medical details and quite possible address details being shared with a (as confirmed by the police) dangerous man? Bearing in mind it isn’t actually mandated that parents share addresses with each other in divorce / separation situations?

If you are requesting social services help because you cannot cope, it’s entirely reasonable that they should consider if the father of the child was suitable to provide support, he isn’t and they know that. Taxpayers funded support is not routinely provided even with disability, my dsd who needs 24/7 supervision didn’t get any until 14 (she has round the clock care as an adult).

I’m not talking biologically - I understand that. I’m talking about a paper connection, he’s nothing more than a sperm donor, perhaps I’m being blunt as it’s my way of coping with the past trauma, but had he have been the product of a one night stand and I didn’t know the man’s name, we wouldn’t be connected to him, so I’m unsure why when the father has withdrawn from his duties, has repeatedly stated he wants no contact and I accept this, why a Clare’s law request is connecting us. This isn’t a man with parental responsibility or who’s financially connected to us. We don’t link biological fathers to NHS records, so I think it’s unfair to be linked now solely because I sought police information 7 years ago before meeting him once.

This^^
Raise a formal complaint. His personal information should not have been shared with you, someone messed up somewhere. I would be concerned that they could have shared info/ report with him.

If you advised Social Services of the situation and police advice, and that you want no contact, then they should not have disregarded this. Chances are that someone made a mistake. I would send an email and ask for an explanation and reiterate that you have no contact as advised by the police and want his details removed from your child’s records.

well cannot cope is a bit strong, we are having a housing issue largely due to his disability, so I was advised to accept the CIN assessment. This is probably the rationale they’re using, but I still think it’s unfair to have approached him when he’s only known through a Clare’s law request, which highlighted mental health and violence as safeguarding concerns

Yes your DS will be linked to him on the system because he's the acknowledged father. They can't remove that link just because he's not involved and doesn't have PR.
BUT they should not have contacted him as part of the CiN assessment without your consent. That was probably a social worker acting on autopilot and you would be within your rights to make a formal complaint and as resolution ensure that there is a clear warning note on the file not to contact the father without your consent.

This. It's a breach of GDPR. Did you give permission to share? There are clear safeguarding risks. The police should also flag your address.
Are you referring to a Child in Need plan? Do you have a social worker?

Don't fear a CIN plan assessment; it can be beneficial. However, avoid professionals who lack knowledge of the laws and guidance, as this could endanger you or your child. Seek an advocate familiar with the system to ensure you receive appropriate support. A proper assessment can be very helpful.

Does the father have any notable genetic history? Could that be a possible explanation?

No I didn’t and I’m almost positive he wouldn’t have given his consent to share his address. Yes I’m referring to a child in need plan, the first social worker who contacted him left, so the manager sent a report they had put together yesterday. I don’t currently have a named social worker.

I haven’t been given a choice in the social workers I’ve met unfortunately. The manager has seemingly undermined the SENCO & EP support I do have - 3 months of chasing a social worker who then left, for a manager to write an unhelpful report based on poor records, that repeatedly references his half brother, as though they’ve met … can’t say it’s been a good experience 😒

The geneticist offered parental testing, I sent him the information but he declined.

Might it be the case that both half siblings have the same genetic disease and that linking them could in some way help to understand their care needs in the cin. I assume if you ask, the links can be taken out of the documentation.

I think it’s likely that, due to whatever information the police hold about him, they were required to submit a safeguarding referral
to social services. This will be how he is linked to your child on SS records.

This does not excuse the glaring data breaches by SS.