Was I wrong to raise my husband's behaviour over the dinner row?

[Yoyoemotions]

Yesterday dh and I had been out all day and by the time we'd had a shower and thought about dinner it was getting a bit late. Dh asked what we could have and I suggested something from the freezer that was quick. I went upstairs to put laundry away.
Next thing ds(21) has decided to cook something else but it was going to take a fair bit longer. I'm aware of this, but being upstairs I'm not sure of exactly what's happening. Next thing, dh appears upstairs wanting to know what I'm doing and why I'm not downstairs helping to sort out dinner, because he's annoyed that ds is now doing dinner and it's going to take too long. He kept telling me to leave what I was doing and get downstairs to sort things out. We end up having takeaway. The thing is, when dh came upstairs he started raising his voice to me and was basically acting as if the whole situation was my fault, and I was the only one who could sort it out.
I pointed out how unreasonable he was being and got a bit of an apology but he didn't really seem to realise that his behaviour was out of order.
I've tried to speak to him this evening to find out if there was more to it, perhaps an argument between him and ds, but he says not, and denies being unreasonable and says I'm having a go at him and got grumpy.
Ha hates conflict, won't talk about emotions and it's starting to get to me. We've been together nearly 30 years.
Was I wrong to bring this up, or should I just have left it?

I don’t think you were unreasonable at all, your DH has 2 hands and is quite (or should be) capable of cooking too. Why is it your responsibility? The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you said he doesn’t like conflict and won’t talk about emotions. Yet it seems he does do conflict when he’s annoyed his dinner is going to be late….. I think he just doesn’t want to be called out on his poor behaviour and have to accept that he was in the wrong, he just wants to sweep it under the carpet, so i absolutely would bring this up.

It was a long day, he was tired and grump and hangry (&unreasonable) but shouting at your was easier than shouted at DC I guess. You said he did apologise, I’d have probably left it rather than bring it up again, it was over and done with.
I do think putting laundry away was odd given that it was late and you’d said about food out of the freezer.
but, wth was Dc cooking that would take longer than a takeaway?
Why didn’t DH sort the freezer meal himself?
Are you the default meal prep person in your house?

He certainly does do conflict, he just did it!

You suggested a meal from the freezer, was there a particular reason that DH couldn't get that meal out start defrosting it? Had his hands fallen off?

He was entirely in the wrong.

I would have thought that the dinner was more of a priority than the laundry but I also think your DH has a voice and 2 hands, and could have agreed what dinner was to be and started it.

Is he usually that hopeless?

Did you say or imply that you where sorting dinner and then sodded off to do something else. If it was my partners turn to cook and it was getting late and he was pissing about doing other things id be annoyed to

For clarification DH was definitely ok with cooking the dinner and more than capable. Ds tried to step in and cook something else, and he takes ages when he cooks. I think @ThisSiteIsAGlitchyShitShow probably hit the nail on the head, that it was easier for DH to sound off at me than saying anything to ds!
I left dh alone for a bit after I spoke to him tonight about it and everything's fine now.
I think we're both probably guilty of overreacting.

If DS was sorting dinner then OP didn’t need to. If DH wanted to help or thought DS needed help then he could have done it.

DH was definitely ok with cooking the dinner and more than capable. Ds tried to step in and cook something else

At which point why did DH not tell DS to stop? Why should it be your responsibility to do this?

Was DS cooking for all of you or just himself? If the latter why on earth couldn't your DH start dinner if it was just a freezer meal? It wasn't your responsibility to go down and manage the situation. Surely he isn't incapable of having a conversation with his son? Just seen your update, glad you resolved it but really it sounds like a storm in a teacup.

Is DH the dad of DS? Why can’t he speak to him himself?