Financial Gap

[thatsthatsaidthemayor]

Starting to dip a toe into dating after 30 years. Read the age gap thread with interest. How do people feel about a financial gap? Are you attracted to someone with money? Do you worry about men being attracted to yours? What about the practicalities of not being able to afford to do the same thing?

You go first.

It doesn’t bother me, I am happy to do lower cost things than I would normally, just as happy with a walk and picnic lunch as a nice restaurant I’m conscious of ego and definitely concerned that some people are attracted to money.

No one ? Really?

My last two relationships have been with lower earning men. I was earning around 5-6x what they were.
I didn't mind paying for everything, but they came to resent it a bit, or felt entitled/tried to take advantage. I would have been happy with picnics etc as well, but not with also doing all the organising. Ended up with a lot of dates just at home, which was fine but I like to go out. And one would end up frequently creating drama or having a tantrum when it actually came to the time to do something nice we'd arranged if we'd agreed a date out, so there were lots of wasted tickets and table reservations

It does create friction, IME, sadly. I didn't care, but they both felt it as a massive power imbalance. Which I don't understand cos I've also dated men who had far more money than me, and I didn't feel that.

I don't know how you get around it - we had separate finances, and I don't mind paying for us both to do things I'm interested in, but I didn't want to spend my money on toys for them I had no interest in, like expensive VR headsets or similar. And they didn't tend to suggest fun days out that I would have been happy to pay for unless prompted and reminded.

The dating scene sounds bad enough already. Dreading this.