Best kids' age to separate

[VanillaCoffee747383o]

I've decided me and DP are over. He's useless, details not important really. Our DS is 21 months. I'm worried about how young he is. He really doesn't do well with change, sleeps extremely badly on holidays or at his grandparents' for example. How long would you wait to leave DP?

I'm by far the higher earner and generally pay for absolutely everything so finances not an issue (well, the sooner I leave, I will be better off but I can afford to stay). No danger of DP claiming he's staying home with DS, DS is in full time childcare 8am -5pm.

Not married, thank god.

I wouldn't wait. No telling that DS will be any better with change in a year or two or five than he is now. My limited experience with children (I have 2) is that emotions and needs get more complex with age, as does their ability to communicate them. If you go sooner rather than later then your son will be at least growing up in a house with a mother who isn't dissatisfied with her life and a poor male role model/relationship role model right in front of him.

I come from a line of women who have all cut and run with young children, it's not easy to single parent but each one of them say it's easier than parenting with a sub par co parent.

There's no perfect time, why wait?

As soon as possible is always the best time with young children, I think. The younger the better really.

The younger the better. Why would you drag it out? My DS was 3 when we split and he barely remembers us together. His normal was us separated which I think is best when you know a split is inevitable.

I'd go sooner rather than later.

Your dc might not even remember the two of you being together, if you leave at this stage.

I don't think it gets any better as they get older OP. Better to go now.

I think it’s less the age of the kids and more how you conduct the co-parenting relationship afterwards that affects kids. I go divorced when my older 2 kids were 1 and 3, went on to have a miserable relationship with their dad for years, and that affected them negatively (irrespective of who was the more unreasonable one). I got divorced again when my youngest child was 4, we co-parent very well, do things together with our child often, and as a result our child (now 7) is as happy as possible with the arrangement.

As young as possible

I wouldn’t wait, so fully agree with PP. how you coparent is key for DC.

I have a 2 and 4 yo.
Honestly 3/ 4 /5 will be much harder.
At 21m they won't know the difference in 6m.
Just do it

I wouldn’t wait another minute. Life is so much better without the useless man in the house. From observation: younger is better for children.

Mine were young when I split with their dad - 3 and 1 - and although they are sometimes a bit sad about it neither is traumatised and it’s their normal. As young as possible is my advice.

Young as possible. At that age he'll not remember daddy being at home.