Will anyone want to date a 38-year-old single mum of four

[Angelmouse88]

I’ve recently separated from my husband after a quite unhealthy and not very nice marriage, I’m 38 and have 4 children two from a previous relationship. I’m feeling very down and like I’ll never be in a relationship again. Realistically will anyone want to date a 38 year old single mum with 4 children? I guess I’m just looking for some positive outlook on a situation that feels quite dark at the moment

It’s impossible to say, just knowing your age and how many children you have isn’t very much information!

What about from Dad??? Or is it all on Mum. What a sexist comment.

Why is this a priority for you? Are you not occupied enough?

Fwiw, OP, I once felt the same. I didn't date for at least 2 years after separating as I just didn't have the headspace. Not because I didn't want to prioritise romance/intimacy. I had so many other things to deal with at work, our home life, school and so on.

Let me just tell you though, having since 'put myself out there', most men are incredibly disappointing and not worth the strife.

The therapy and time alone has made me realise that I've been idealising a partner and have not been realistic. My current boyfriend is a fictional character! 😂

I'm a little older than you, with 2 DC, and some of even the nicest men I've come across have turned out to be sexist at least or misogynists on average. So many women too judge us single mothers, for many reasons.

If I'm honest, I only miss romance, the close friendship/companionship of a mate and (good) sex. Most men I've come across are shit lovers tbh.

Ah ok. When you said recent I was thinking maybe a matter of weeks. I don’t think a year too soon at all.

Just give yourself and your DC time and space for you to be a family. Your own time will come - prioritise your kids before any men.

Exactly this, I have no interest in meeting another man anytime soon, and my priority as always is my children! But at the same time I worry I’ll be on my own for the rest of my life

Not a priority but a thought! At no point did I say my priority was a new relationship but my concern was never having a new relationship

Bad wording on my part maybe

God you’re so young.

Sexual relationships are two a penny, believe me. (I’m about to turn 57).

Please focus on your kids. Give them a peaceful childhood and adolescence, do a bit of dating well away from them if you like, there will still be sex and love after that.

I have a friend with 5 who met someone fairly quickly after her marriage finally broke down. I don’t think it’s ideal but they are still together over 10 years. They didn’t move in together until her youngest was over 16 and the eldest few had left home (about 8 years together).

I’d say a single thirty something year old mum of four probably isn’t high on a single man’s wish list no but honestly do you care? You have your hands more than full at the moment, yes you could get on the apps and expend valuable time and energy trying to find someone and it wouldn’t be impossible but he will probably have his own baggage too, is he likely to be worth the hassle when there are so much more important things you could be doing for yourself and your family? I think this is just post break up panic speaking, a year isn’t very long, you will settle into your new routine. Do you have a nice life outside of the dc, friends, work, hobbies?

Four kids is a lot so your dating pool probably won't be huge... don't rush it though. In four years time...two of your children will be adults so you'll probably have a lot more freedom and choice then

Why are you already thinking about a new relationship. Concentrate on your new life and your kids. Make yourself happy first.

As long as you are realistic about it. There will be a reduced dating pool as childless men in their thirties will prioritise a childless woman in her thirties. But a man with children of his own will likely understand.

No I don’t really, I’m absolutely not interested in a relationship at the moment but the thought of being alone forever also isn’t a great one. I work in a school which I love and have a couple of friends but not a brilliant social life outside of the children, I think that’s what’s lacking at the moment is adult friendship and people to talk to

You can be very vulnerable as a single mother dating. To protect yourself and your children you need to be confident of your own self worth and not fall for someone because you fear you won’t find someone better.

If you appeal to somebody, of course they'll want to see you. Everybody has baggage. You sound as if you're worth knowing, so I hope you find somebody..x

Of course, although it will be harder. In some ways you have 2 kids sort of as if your older 2 are like mine, they just spend time with friends and use you for taxi/food/money 😛- so its not like to need to do lots of things with them. BUT, most guys same age will have kids and then blending 6 or more kids is tougher. But who knows, the right person could easily be out there and no harm in looking

OP, I hear you! I was 45, very newly single with 4DC (3 of whom are ND), and thought no one would ever want me again.

well, as it turns out, someone did. Actually I was single for a very short space of time as an old friend who had been separated for a good few years longer than me made a move. We have been together for two years now. We don’t live together, nor have plans too, but it’s actually a really great relationship that fits around our kids. We managed to sync our weekends off and see each other one night a week plus EOW. It’s more than enough, and great to have a little bit of fun, aside from the kids.

I agree with taking the time to make sure that you are ok before you start thinking about à relationship, but also wanted to reassure you that your life is not over. There are still some good eggs out there! Stay strong!