I think his family are Toxic and want them out of my life and my kids. (But that would be the tricky part). I just don't want the kids around their BS.
There is a lot of childhood neglect/trauma for OH and would explain how he and siblings are, their reactions, having to do everything their mum says (all adult in late 20s-30s) it's all weird. And I'm seeing it more and more.
Every time we are around his family we have an argument, fallout almost always they try to come between us and cause problems- Last weekend went to see his mum all was going swimmingly and his mum started something accusing me of shouting at OH all I said was 'OMG are you not watching him!' ( our 2yr old) as he was playing with him and 2 minutes later ended up face down on the hard porcelain floor! It was shocking to see I just reacted yes I apologised I could have chosen better words I panicked (Luckily little one was OK but narrowly missed hitting his head on the floor) OH's mum was insinuating that OH looks so miserable/stressed because of me and I was shouting at him apparently which I wasn't he didn't even clear up the situation and just told her to 'Leave it' he didn't back me at all.
The reason he is so stressed is due to a family funeral -his nan who he doesn't have a relationship with or hasn't seen in many years . died after Christmas it is sad...Me and the kids do not know of her or her name never seen even a picture. And it's like OH's mum has kept the family under a constant state of grief until this funeral which is in another country, she's constantly bugged everyone to book flights so soon after Christmas then messed up all of the flights, OH had to change it all and fork out £200-300 as he couldn't take that much time off work, she only booked hand luggage, OH has to travel further to get to the airport and pay parking & ULEZ, renew his passport as they require 6months on it to travel, jabs, malaria tablets, apply for a visa and get another small flight locally once he gets there! this is costing a huge amount and putting a huge amount of pressure on him to go to this funeral as his mum is forcing him and siblings to go to it. And he sits back and lets her think I am the issue here.
So I'm fed up of it he can have his holiday leave me with the kids, work, x 2 school runs by myself which he just decided without a moments thought about my job or how I can do it all.
Not many people would do this. If he just said he couldn't make it it's no big deal. It feels like he is being forced and he should feel sad and should pay respects I get that but all the hassle it has caused.
I feel they are only attending to show off and have this big send off party more than a typical funeral- Maybe it'll bring some closure for him to attend. But the whole situation is causing so much stress in the house.
And his passport can take up to 3 weeks to come back and the visa takes 15 days to process and he goes away in 2 weeks time 🫠🙃
It's a mess!!