Conflicted

[Fifiisfiring]

My husband had an emotional outburst this morning, it’s not the first time and he does suffer with brain damage from an accident a long time ago.
But this time I’m so hurt, our children heard and saw his behaviour and I feel I cannot live like this anymore. The guilt that he’ll be on his own and I won’t be there to stop him doing anything to himself it’s crippling me.
Please if anyone has any advice and be kind I’m not resilient right now but I’ve no one IRL to talk with. Thank you

There could be a few reasons. Did he have therapy after the accident? To sustain TBI is distressing enough as it is. It can also bring about cognitive dysfunction. Early onset of dementia amongst other things. Would he see the GP and asked to be referred to a psychologist or injury specialist for further tests?

Brain damage is absolutely no excuse for abuse. None at all. Sounds like you're waking up to this.

Can you tell us more?

Thank you both for you replies, he did have therapy and after his last bad emotional outburst we went to A&E and they did some more tests and scan to check for changes in the brain but nothing of note. They have said there isn’t any physical reason for his outbursts but that he must be struggling with stress! I walk on eggshells to make his life as stress free as possible but our sons are pre teens and cheeky, this disrespect as he called it is what caused the outburst this morning.

You don't have to live with abusive behaviour no matter what the cause is.

My stepfather suffered a personality change after a head injury and he simply wasn't the same person afterwards. I was glad when my mum ended the relationship.

You and your children deserve an emotionally safe home.

You could still offer support (if you want to) after splitting up but on your own terms.

My fear is that you're both blaming a historical injury for what appears to be a long-term issue regarding his attitude to women, control, and power.

no one should be walking on egg shells around anyone for any reason.

If he needs help he needs to access it soon. The conversation is a difficult one but it needs to be had.

If you feel in danger you should take steps to protect yourself and DC's

That is like him, never really been the same since. I feel like I’ve already grieved the loss of the man I once knew and accepted he’s not mentally well, but I can’t have this be the rest of our children’s childhoods.
If it wasn’t for the children I’d have left by now but felt guilty they would resent me for leaving him.

But I’ve hit my limit today I don’t deserve this, I’m going to leave.
I can’t thank you all enough for just being here and listening x

Bless you, you sound kind but you and your children should not have to live with abuse, whatever the reason. I hope you can find a way to leave and live in a home that is peaceful and where you can relax. Your children won't blame or resent you, you're doing this for them as well as yourself. Look after yourself lovely 💐

Sorry, after his last ourburst you went to A and E? Did nobody pick up domestic abuse? At all? I tried to get "help" for my now-ex. Turns out he was just horrible.