Feeling confused about a guy I’ve been seeing for a few weeks. He is 41, I’m 37. Right from the beginning I was clear that I value consistency and good communication. Not that we need to be texting back and forth all day, but I do like a message in the morning, and then a bit of a chat in the evening. I said I didn’t like mixed signals and not knowing where I stand. He agreed.
We were also chatting about lifestyles, I said my partying days were behind me and that it’s rare that I would have a big night out getting smashed and the next day being a write off. He agreed, and said it was maybe once or twice a year that he would do that. It’s the same for me too.
At the beginning he was coming on strong, wanted us to be officially an item, both of us come off the apps, talking about future plans etc.
Once he had got me back to his, there was a big change from him. One message a day, going out on big drinking sessions up in London, and being completely out of contact, sometimes for days. His mates up there are on the gear, but he says he doesn’t touch it, although he used to. In the last week alone he has been on 3 benders in London and off the radar.
I have felt very confused, and not knowing where I stand. His stance is basically ‘I’ve got a lot going on and I’m hardly on my phone’. He does have a custody battle on his hands at the moment, and he is doing some studying for professional exams.
Just don’t really understand how it’s gone from super keen in the beginning to now barely hearing from him.
Don’t know what to do, any wisdom? Thank you for reading.