Can men and women love eachother unconditionally? Honest opinion

[HoneyB2025]

I know you can care for someone genuinely and be there for them, support them, but when something bad happens or if they disappoint you it is possible for your feelings to change, hence why relationships break.

But I feel loving your child is unconditional because you brought them into this world, they are apart of you, no matter what they do you will always love them regardless, without expecting anything in return.

Well, it is not a flick of a switch (usually). It is something that is chips away with experiencing something that erodes said love... Say, consistently not treating someone well enough, being rude, thoughtless, etc. When something sudden happens, of course you can just stand up and say - well, my love is gone just like that. But you make the conscious decision to step up and remove yourself from the relationship, because you know it is not something you can get behind, and the love you once felt is withering away from that point.

Unconditionally means no matter what they do. So no. Would I still love a man if he raped someone for example? Hell no.

I’ve experienced both – love being chipped away at over time until it dies is more common, but I’ve also had a sudden revelation about the other person that was so horrendous that it simply destroyed the love I felt for them on the spot, leaving only revulsion and contempt.

No. And they shouldn't. That's not healthy.

I think it’s no to both. I have an amazing relationship with both husband and children however if my husband cheated / killed someone or went off the rails I don’t think I could see them in the same way.

I am a very logical person and I think it could be the same for my children. If my child murdered someone and it was premeditated I’m not sure I would love them the same

No love is unconditional in my eyes. I love DD about as much as it's possible to love another human being, but if she turned out to be a serial killer, or tortured animals, or one day in the future became the female equivalent of Trump, then that love is going to dry up pretty damn quick.

No, not at all.

The only unconditional love is between parents and children - and sometimes between a very devoted pet owner and their animals.

Never in romantic relationships.

Very interesting what @VimesandhisCardboardBoots @Shatandfattered and @OtterlyAstounding tapped into - Even a love one has for their children has a line. If said line is breached by an adult child, who decided to just be a horrible human being committing abhorrent acts, I think that love that started as unconditional would die off.... That must be devastating, something I am not sure how anyone would be able to heal from, but a definite possibility.

I love my husband unconditionally and I know he feels the same about me. We have been together since we were teenagers, for all of our adult lives and most of our entire lives. In a way, we grew up together, have been part of each other's families since the beginning of our relationship and have supported each other through a great deal. I am aware that some people who get together when young find their relationships failing as they grow apart but, fortunately, this has not been the case for us, the passage of time has actually brought us closer together.
My husband is so fundamental a part of my life that I cannot imagine it without him, just as I cannot imagine anything he could do which would stop me loving him, that, I believe, is unconditional love.
We welcomed our perfect and much longed for baby girl early last year, after nearly twenty years together. She is the centre of our world and our love for her is unquestionably unconditional. However, I am not sure that the love I feel for her, though perhaps a little more intense, is all that different in essence to the love I feel for my husband, probably because I love him as family too. I would also say that I loved my late dad unconditionally, so really not just an emotion a parent can feel for their child.

If you are doing the care because of your daughter then isn't that conditional ?
It's very good of you regardless.
I don't believe men and women can love each other unconditionally whatsoever.
For me the only unconditional love is between parent and child and perhaps that leans a bit more towards the mothers love.

I find it very hard to believe that you love your husband unconditionally. The way you phrased it suggests a very innocent, almost juvenile way of looking at it. You saying that you love him unconditionally is itself a stretch, but to then state that you know that he feels the same is something you'd read in some romance novel. There is absolutely no way of knowing 100% what another person has in their head or heart. Simply because you are not them. You can guess, think or hope, but you cannot know.

So, when you say that you love him unconditionally, that means he could do anything, and you'd just keep loving him all the same. If one day you learned that he was unfaithful to you, it wouldn't change? If he decided to be abusive towards you, or gambled away all your savings.. Are you telling us that in any of these cases, you'd just keep loving him the same?

"Wish44 · Yesterday 07:30
So for those saying that it is conditional do you have experience of love actually turning off like that?
in my view love fades very gradually over time. As I said up thread you make decisions to leave/ cut people out of your life who behave badly but love doesn’t just stop like that for me. So interested to hear from those who experience love differently."

@Wish44 - so for me, when I say love between adults should be conditional, I don't mean that the warm feelings of affection instantly switch off. Your heart feels what your heart feels. However, I think loving also involves decision and choice; this is where the head comes in. So if someone I loved were to treat me very badly - yes, it may well reduce my love for them in my heart but in any event I would make the decision that I was not going to continue nurturing a love for them and that I was not going to continue turning up for them or making myself available to them; effectively, I would stop performing love, if you see what I mean. So that's what I mean about it being conditional. Not that the feeling of love itself would just switch off. Fortunately, I've never had to make this decision. My mum did though after 32 years of marriage; my dad had had various affairs and there came a point where she said enough was enough and kicked him out. It was very painful for her but she took her love back from him in practical terms.

I'm in my mid-50s and loved the Cosmo Irma Kurtz problem page back in the 1980s. I remember one woman writing in about her husband who had cheated on her and left her for someone else but who kept coming back and sleeping with the writer and how difficult the writer found it to move on; she thought she would never be able to trust another man. The writer wrote that she "still carried a flame" for her husband. Irma Kurtz gave a long response but the following words made a particular impression: "that flame you still carry for your husband - take a deep breath and blow it out".

I love my husband deeply - he's an excellent parent and partner, he's thoughtful; and kind, and he more than pulls his weight. I absolutely do not love him unconditionally; I have boundaries and would never allow him to cause me hurt just because I love him. Similarly, there are ways in which he could hurt other people that I could not forgive or continue to love. That, IMO, is normal and healthy.

The only people I love unconditionally are my children and grandchildren. Three is nothing they could do that would make me stop loving them. I might disapprove of what they do or even dislike them but I will always love them and be there for them
I can't say that about anyone else

I think you can love someone so much that, whatever they did to disappoint you, some love for them can remain, and you would still help them in extremis. This can be true of lovers and friends.

But I think it's only with your child that your love remains unaltered in strength, whatever they do.

And I am not even sure that is true for everyone. My daughter asked me recently whether I believe my mom's love for me is unconditional, and I am not sure I do.

I do feel my love for my daughter is, though. Whatever she did to me, I would always be willing to give my life for her.