Is it old f

[Rockdaylia44]

Bit of background lived with dp 10 yrz. Been 2gether 17yrz.He earns double what I earn very good wage, pays half of everything, I grew up in christian family where the man pays for his wife/ partner all the time. is this old fashioned? For example going out to expensive restaurant he'd still expect to go halves.where I wish he'd pay, he does occasionally but not all time. parents have commented. Any idea is this mean.? Shud men pay?

Do you not have shared finances? What do you do about bills?

All bill's are halved he lives in my property and payz halfs

Either you have shared finances or you don't. In any case, no of course he shouldn't pay for you 'because he's a man' and yes that's ridiculously old-fashioned. If you share finances, partners should pay according to their relative salaries.

Seems odd that you're bringing this up 17 years into the relationship!

So he earns double my salary
So surely instead of paying half of all bills he should pay more?

He says its fair 50/50 half on everything
Family r disapproving

Parents have commented on this and say it's not right and he should pay more as it's man duty. Now I'm questioning the r.ship

After 17 years and living together I find it strange you have separate finances

Is the home just in your name?

Yes

It’s not a man’s duty to pay more. But I would expect him to treat you to some meals out etc as he earns more. I’ve done this when I’ve earned more than a partner.

No it’s not a ‘man’s duty’ to bankroll a woman. But surely it’s a discussion you have BEFORE you live together not a decade later

I think the bills contribution should be proportional to earnings. I don't think it's the man's duty to.pay for more simply because he's a man. Very old fashioned opinion. Yiu could treat each other

He has his money i have mine. But all bills and mortgage in.my name but he give half

Ok then I don’t think he should pay towards the mortgage as it’s your asset.

I woukd say either you have a joint account for bills/food or you paying proportion to your income.

I think it depends, sometimes its good to take control other times its good to give control. And fairness across the board and unity of choices on important topics.