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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Libido gone. Utterly disappeared.

10 replies

lovecat · 18/06/2008 21:16

I used to be highly sexed. Very highly sexed, far more so than DH. All the way through pregnancy I had the horn, and for the next 3 years thereafter as well.

So why don't I care atm if I never have sex again? It's not that I even dislike the idea of it, it's just a complete and utter absence of desire...

I had to lose a lot of weight quickly in order to have an operation on my bladder. I'm not sure if the low cal diet I've been on for the last 3 months has done this to me, or if it was the op I had (it was a TOT op, where they inserted a bit of mesh around my bladder to prop it up). I wasn't allowed to have sex for 2 months afterwards, and last week (3 months later) DH got frisky, so....

It was disastrous

I just could not get turned on, no matter how hard the poor bloke tried, I felt (sorry if TMI) tight and dry and just not into it at all. I actually found myself wishing he'd just get on with it and come so I could be left alone, which is SO not me!

Is it just the 3 month abstinence, do you think? I've got to go back to the specialist for a check up next week so will mention it to her, but painful sex aside, the op shouldn't affect my ability to feel like I want sex, should it?

Has anyone else just gone off it? Did the desire come back again? Is there anything I can do to help matters? I don't even feel like wanking, which is a first for me, I must admit . I'm not even 42 yet, I don't want my sex life to be over and I'm sure DH doesn't either....

OP posts:
scanner · 18/06/2008 21:19

I guess it depends on your state of mind the other week. I think if you think about it too much it just doesn't work, where you wondering if it would be ok? questioning if you'd get your mojo back?

lovecat · 18/06/2008 21:49

possibly... not consciously, but I did wonder if that might have been the cause. But then thinking about it, I haven't felt anything - no urges, no nothing - since February. Normally (again, sorry if TMI) I'm the one badgering DH for sex and in between would self-pleasure at least twice a week. It hasn't even occurred to me to want to, which is mildly worrying...

OP posts:
lovecat · 19/06/2008 08:10

So no-one else in this boat?

OP posts:
mellyonion · 19/06/2008 08:19

maybe it ran off with mine!!!!

i lost my mojo about a year ago, and it very rarely rears its head.......

i spoke to my gp aboutit, and she said that there was nothing she could do, that it probably because of my life being so busy and having very little time to relax.....

well gee, thanks!!!

so...no advice, but lots of sympathy.

mellyonion · 19/06/2008 08:20

sorry bout crap typing!

SquiffyHock · 19/06/2008 08:25

Have you tried lubricant? i never thought I'd need it but it's a revelation

Bucharest · 19/06/2008 08:25

If you happen to find mine lying around while you search, post it back to me.....

mellyonion · 19/06/2008 09:41

maybe they've all gone on a holiday of a lifetime, and are getting lots of good loving on a hot sunny beach in the carribean or something????

lovecat · 19/06/2008 09:58

what a nice thought... they're probably sitting on loungers sipping cocktails as we type...barstards!

Squiffy, I have to say I never thought I'd need it either, but perhaps I do - good idea, ta!

OP posts:
PestoMonster · 19/06/2008 10:07

Maybe you should get a

G-shot

like this woman did.
Bargain at £800 a pop.

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