Am I unreasonable to want no contact with my mother?

[Saddaughter999]

Hello everyone!
Very long story. I am a child of first cousins relationship. I know my mum struggled to bond with me, I believe she was ashamed of it. I don't have any nice memories from childhood like cuddles, playing with me, etc. I know once she left me for her mother (my grandmother) and said she doesn't want to see me as I destroyed her career, life, etc.
My parents divorced when I was 14. Dad asked for divorce. He was trying his best to keep contact with me, visited, paid child maintenance +extra, left house for mum. Mum manipulated and was "sick" every single time I visited dad or grandma from his side. Every single visit would end up with calls, crying and screaming at home.
She had lots of boyfriends after divorce. I used to wake up and see different mens sleeping on sofa. One even tried to sexually abuse me. I left home and lived with my 19 years old boyfriend when I was 16 .
I moved to UK when I was 22. I always wanted to keep relationship with my mum despite my experiences. She never supported me. When I was pregnant with work, house, husband of 7 years-she said I'm doing mistake. I have child with health issues, she never asks about it and if I send her photos, she'll be like "oh stop feeding him, he's fat", etc. My dad recently died and I needed her support. She refused and said she needs to work.
In the past few weeks she started to demand us coming back to live next to her. I can't even think about it, I'm at the stage when I wish I went NC since I left home. She started messaging me "you don't care about me", gossiping about me, blaming my husband, etc.
Please tell me I'm not crazy to not want to see, speak or live next to her?

Block her. She has not been a supportive or loving mother throughout your life. Now is the time to concentrate on the family you have made.

Block her and dont feel guilty about it.

Block her from being able to contact you and get therapy for any fear obligation and guilt you have re her. Read Toxic Parents by Susan Forward.

You will need to grieve for the relationship you should have had rather than the one you actually got.

It’s not your fault she is like this and you did not make her that way

Of course you're not unreasonable to not want to have contact with her, she sounds awful! Have you had any counselling/therapy? It could help you deal with your feelings about your relationship with your mum and going no contact.

She was not a good parent at all to you when you were growing up and she has not changed in all
the years since.

No counselling or therapy yet, I simply can't afford it. I'm still on waiting list for post-birth mental health issues.....

No-one is obliged to continue in a relationship with a family member who has abused them. Your mother has been unpleasant to you for years so please don't feel that you even have to stay in contact with her, because you don't.

If you are in the UK you should be able to access counselling services via the NHS, although there may be a long wait. Please do speak to your GP and ask for help.