Help! DH having the snip next week - how do I persuade him otherwise??

[threetinytots]

DH having op next thurs, he went to see gp a while ago but date has just come through. There has been little discussion about the whole thing, dh has just gone ahead and done it. I'm really not sure I definately don't want anymore children. I'm really panicking! This is my last chance to persuade him that maybe he could wait and that another dc might be a good idea??!!

[SoupKitchen]

I would sit him down and explain your worries and ask if he is really sure.

Unfortunately if he is sure he doesn't need your agreement BUT how would your relationship continue if you cannot at least discuss such a major decision.

If it was me I would explain it as - how would you feel if I had a medical procdure that would affect our family without a proper discussion.

[threetinytots]

Thanks SK, I kind of feel the whole decision has been taken out of my hands, rather than it being joint. Our DC3 was an accident and since then he has been a man on a mission!

[SoupKitchen]

My Dh actually had the snip in January after much heartfelt debate. We were fully in agreement at the time, but it has hit me quite hard since.

I was medically advised not to have more children , and he wanted to make sure of that. But I always wanted 3-4.

Just saying it is hard even when its a joint decision. Please make him talk to you.

[HappyWoman]

Can understand how you feel.
After 3 we decided to get it sorted and got an appointment. But then we both had a second thought and so cancelled it. We did go on to have a surprise extra 6 years later!! Which was awful at the time and completly turned my life up-side-down. We then got him to the clinic fast after that (we really did not want more - and i was too old really ).

Unfortunately though he does have the right to say he does not want more.

Do try and talk to him though because it is a big step.

We still wonder if we would have had more - but glad he did it most of the time.

[2rebecca]

If one person wants more kids and the other doesn't sometimes a joint decision is impossible and one person has to go with the other's desires. It sounds as though you already have 1 more child than your husband would have liked so if he's adamant he doesn't want more, and doesn't trust female contraception I'd be inclined to let him have the snip. Offering to get a MIRENA coil inserted might be another option as they are fairly reliable and last for 5 years.