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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partners Asked to See Bank Statements

8 replies

ShirtGuy92 · 02/04/2026 16:16

Got myself into a bit of a pickle. Appreciate I'm at fault for part but not sure how to resolve this one.

In short, I had a business venture that failed that I've been paying off a small amount for over the past few months (not huge by amy stretch), but it's something I'd basically not told my partner about on an ongoing base as to not worry her / make it seem bigger than it was. Not because I wanted to lie, I just didn't want to stress her.
Issue is, we were talking through my outstanding balances last night and it came to fruition. Admitted to it etc, but instead she asked for more clarity requesting to see line by line statements to which I hesitated as the timing could not be worse. I've currently got a damn engagement ring sat on my card that I don't/ can't go into my statements for as it'll be obvious.

Appreciate this is self inflicted bur I've no idea how to get round this.

OP posts:
BeeCucumber · 02/04/2026 16:18

Ok. I’ll bite. Why did you buy an engagement ring on a credit card when you are in debt?

TomatoSandwiches · 02/04/2026 16:18

Do you think she's going to marry you?

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/04/2026 16:20

🤔

apostrophewoman · 02/04/2026 16:21

Firstly I would have thought it more sensible to pay off your debts first, rather than buy an engagement ring.
Secondly, if you can’t be honest with the person you’re going to ask to marry you and spend the rest of your life with, then you shouldn’t be asking her.

ShirtGuy92 · 02/04/2026 16:22

BeeCucumber · 02/04/2026 16:18

Ok. I’ll bite. Why did you buy an engagement ring on a credit card when you are in debt?

Essentially there was stock i was selling down on (now all gone) that cleared the debt back in February. It just took a couple of months. But other than that, overexcitement / stupidity.

OP posts:
SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 02/04/2026 16:25

She doesn’t currently trust you or believe that you are financially responsible. In fact she distrusts you so much that your word is not good enough and she wants to see proof.
This is much bigger problem than there being a ring on your credit card statement and the fact that you are still focussing on the wrong issue means she is likely to be right

xOlive · 02/04/2026 16:26

Does she have a birthday or anniversary coming
up? You could have them printed and cross out that one transaction and explain she can’t see that one as it is a gift for her that she can eventually know about when the time comes.

Flickitspinittwistitbopit · 02/04/2026 16:29

You're just going to have to put her off until you ask her but make it sooner rather than later?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

People are being a bit twatty harsh here, Op has already said the debt isn't huge and it's going down all the while...

There are some super sanctimonious people around for whom the concepts of impulsive purchases and excited don't exist, op 🙄 hope she says yes! 🤩

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