Should I acknowledge my ex if he comes into my pub again?

[ChampagneCharlotteLemonadeBudget]

For context, the man here is someone I dated during 2020/2021 - not an overly long relationship but it was over lockdown so quite intense. He claimed at the time, and I fell for it, that he wanted to live together, get married, have kids, etc. We ended up splitting because he discovered I'd asked a friend for some relationship advice (yes really). I found out afterwards that he had cheated on me with at least three, possibly four other women, and that although he'd told his parents etc that we were serious, he'd told others (for example his ex wife he was still trying to sleep with) that we were just a bit of fun. I was absolutely heartbroken afterwards and took a good long while to even think about dating again - he was in a relationship the same month.

I've just started a (second) job behind the bar in a country pub. Last Saturday afternoon I walked through into our second bar and stood there straight in front of me was my ex. I was the only staff around at the time so I had to serve him, and I kept waiting for him to recognise me/say something but there was absolutely nothing, not even a flicker of recognition. It might be five years ago but I haven't changed that much! (Although he has, and not for the better). I served him as civilly as a possibly could, although my heart was absolutely pounding, and avoided going near where he was sat until he drank up and left.

Because of the location and the fact that he was out on his motorbike I strongly suspect he will come in again while I'm on shift. The question is do I say something? (Politely obviously I don't want want to lose my job!) It feels weird to keep up the pretence we've never seen each other in our lives before!

You could ask your friend to text him and ask him not to come back

@ChampagneCharlotteLemonadeBudget the thing I would keep in mind is that you did nothing wrong. He did. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. He does. You have no obligation to him whatsoever.

Personally, I have always felt that in instances where someone has wronged you in the way that he did, taking the moral high ground is the best course of action in the long run. While various options are tempting for the short term, you are the one that has your own standards to uphold, and IMHO you shouldn't let him make you compromise those.

Keep it professional, don't volunteer anything, and if he asks how you are, a casual 'couldn't be better' is fine. No need to acknowledge him at all, other than distant politeness. As others have suggested, he may not have recognised you for a variety of reasons. I would give it no further thought, you don't owe him anything, and shouldn't let his behaviour dictate your ongoing enjoyment of life. He isn't worth the time or the effort.

I would acknowledge him.