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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling anxious and lonely…

1 reply

hearts1989g · 02/04/2026 06:10

I have noticed a pattern with my partner...

be it something Iv said that’s upset him or if he does actually do something to upset me it’s always deflected, blame is placed on me and I am treated with silent treat meant, withdrawal and pulls back on parenting help. I am the emotional regulator and have to chase to sort things and eventually he comes around.

when not in these moods he is a great father (very practical and good provider) and partner (caring and loving) for the most part.

He does have a tendency to take on a lot and get stressed which I bear the brunt of if I interrupt him from work for example (asking about lunch as an example). I don’t really know what I’ll get but need the communication. A simple text would suffice.

im feeling low. I dont live near family and not sure how to navigate all of this. I am in a financially vulnerable position presently.

I just need a hand hold.

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 02/04/2026 07:34

He sounds like hard work. The silent treatment, withdrawal and deflection are all indicators of an abusive relationship designed to control you. Has he always been like this or is it a new thing? You say you are financially vulnerable so can you think about working on that to gain some financial independence? How old are your children and are you at sahm?

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