Husband’s repeated insults have left me devastated after latest argument

[Mihagino402]

My husband called me an ugly midget during a very heated argument.
He has called me a bitch, slut, cunt in the past.
He also regularly tells me I’m controlling, a liar, I only married him for his money and that I trapped him by getting pregnant.
He tells me I’m lazy.
He also says he doesn’t believe me that I was raped, even though he knows I was, and the police wanted to prosecute but the CPS wouldn’t take it.
Our son is 13 and my husband has always complained that I’ve trapped him, that he never wanted another child (he has children from a previous marriage).
He usually apologises a few days after an argument.
This time I am completely devastated by what he called me.

That sounds awful for you. You must be very upset, I would be if someone spoke to me like that.

OP he is abusive. Can you speak to Wimen’s Aid when he is not around?

Just for context, my husband has never done that to me. We love each other.

Your husband does not love you so I'm not sure why you want to be with him. What you have described is not normal.

This is abuse.

How is he trapped? Surely he could file for divorce if you’re that awful?

If he never wanted another a child he should have got a vasectomy or been celibate. He had options.

I'm sorry this man is so cruel to you. You don't have to take it. You don't deserve it. TBH nobody does.

He is abusing you OP and you should be making plans to leave. He won't suddenly turn into a decent, supportive, caring partner because he can't, not with you.

Please contact Women's Aid or your local DA group (should be listed on your council's website). Talk to your GP and they might be able to signpost you to other help.

You are worth more than this. Your child deserves your protection from this abusive man too before they become really screwed up. Leave for both your sakes.

I think you have posted about this before OP? The details sound very familiar.
You really need to leave him as he is abusing you

I’m so sorry you are being treated like that. It’s absolutely dreadful to read your post. Please contact a women’s support group like Women’s Aid for help to leave this abusive man. You have to get yourself and your son away from this abusive man. 💐

Sounds like my ex husband. I left a year after he started doing that. Just really vicious name calling during quite normal disagreements. Mine also claimed he was trapped but wouldn't spend time away when I asked him to for space 🙄The first time he started swearing at me I was taken aback, especially as he acted completely normal afterwards. The next few times, I asked him to stop and warned him I would be gone if he did it again. 2 times later, I packed my bags and left.

Apologies don't mean anything if they keep doing that. It is abuse and they are testing how far they can go.

Sounds like my ex husband, too. Probably the worst thing he called me was his "missionary position wife". It touched my very soul and I will take it to my grave.

Words do immense damage. You must set boundaries and enforce them. Probably he will crash through them and you should leave. Can you really anticipate a lifetime of this, OP?

Why are you sticking around with such a vile monster?

You don’t speak that way to someone that you love and respect. He is abusing you and he does not like you. You deserve so much better, find your strength and get away from him.

He’s an abusive cunt who isn’t sorry when he apologises, it’s just the cycle of abuse.

Please put you and your DS first. Your son has grown up in an abusive home his whole life and this is his example of relationships for his future. Set him and you free from this toxic man. Speak to women’s aid.

Do you have anyone in RL you can talk to?

@Mihagino402 he does believe you. His denial of your rape is just further abuse.
You need to leave.

This is seriously abusive. Phone Womens Aid today to speak to someone about it.

Run

My DP has never called me names and I haven't done the same to him.

Your relationship is abusive. Can you access support to leave?

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?.
What you are describing is domestic violence and you could also do with support from a solicitor re divorce and Womens Aid into leaving safely.

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. You are also not some rehab centre for a badly raised man.

What do you want to teach your son about relationships and what is he learning here?. This is not the relationship model he should be seeing at home and he likely heard his dad shout at you. He cannot afford to grow up seeing you as his mother and in turn he being abused by his father.

@Mihagino402 this isn't love.

You need to put your foot down and ideally end the relationship. Your very impressionable 13yo is learning how to be a man from his Dad. He is learning and soaking in the abuse being thrown at you and its only a matter of time before he copies Dad and abuses you as well.

Take back your freedom and rid yourself of this loser. Start the rest of your life without someone dragging you down.

Your very impressionable 13yo is learning how to be a man from his Dad. He is learning and soaking in the abuse being thrown at you and its only a matter of time before he copies Dad and abuses you as well.

And other women!

The thing is OP, you are thinking this behaviour is normal so what on earth do you think your son makes of it? He will see dad being abusive and mum taking it. That's his normal, the same way as it is your normal.

Think about it.