Counselling suggesting boundary work feels overwhelming, any positive experiences to share?

[Boundariestime]

I’ve had a few counselling sessions and they want to refer me to have more specific sessions around setting boundaries, it just makes me think this is another thing to add to me todo list and why is it my responsibility to try and manage other people’s behaviour?

I feel like I’m on a constant hamster wheel with no time to just stop and be in my thoughts.

Can anyone give me any positive experiences? I’m already considered a high maintenance awkward person.

I think you may need to reframe your thinking on what boundary setting is.

What does it mean to you?

If you are very busy, trust me, setting boundaries will free up your time and give you more headspace.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but once you set them and maintain them, it simplifies a lot of things. That was/is my experience anyway.

Boundaries are not really about managing other people’s behaviour they are absolutely about managing your own. Too many people feel they need to learn to tolerate destructive/harmful behaviour directed towards them because it was normalised during their upbringing and boundaries teaches you that you can change how you respond to it.

I have just gone through this process and suddenly find myself happier, sleeping better, more time for me etc etc so it’s worth the initial pain. I just hope I can keep it up!

I think setting boundaries isn't about managing other people's behaviour, it's more about managing your response to it. We all have to deal with other people and learning to set your own boundaries is part of that.

The boundary setting will help you feel less on a hamster wheel. I frequently revisit boundary setting in counselling. One thing which has been a revelation to me is that when I have good boundaries in place, people treat me a lot better. They seem to respect me more, and my life runs with less stress. I would give it a go. You might find it way more useful than you imagine.

Many years ago I had counselling. In a space of a few years everything that could have gone wrong did. None of this was down to me. Counselling for me did work, it took time - months but it helped me recover. However things get worse before they get better. I had to face up to problems in the past that I did not want to but it did work and since then I have not used antidepressants. Keep going and things will get better.

Exactly this. Good boundary-setting involves understanding that you can't control other people's behaviour, only your own, but that this is a key piece in leading a more peaceful, self-centring life.

Being able to set healthy boundaries is all about you and protecting your wellbeing. The goal is never to change someone else’s behaviour. It to set firm standards for allowing people in your life. They can respect those boundaries or they can choose not to. The goal is to safeguard your mental health though, regardless of what they do. I think it sounds like a really good suggestion from what you’ve said.