Is this healthy ?

[Sunshineismyhappy]

Hi,
im looking for some genuine advice, not catty comments ect.
I’ve recently started a relationship with a man that has 3 children ( 2 that are teenagers) and 1 that is 8. Been together 2 months !

he’s literally the nicest man I’ve ever met and we get on so well. I’m so grateful for that after I came out of a 10 year gaslighting relationship previously. I myself don’t have children unfortunately… we get on so well and have lots of friends in common.
im not sure if it’s me being trauma bonded from my last relationship and I’m not sure what’s the norm for healthy co parenting .. my ex partner had an awful relationship with his childs mother.
basically every time I’m with my partner… the child’s mother is sending photos of their daughter and emojis ect… he of course reply’s ect…
is this quite normal for healthy co parenting? I’m just a bit triggered maybe.

It does seem quite enmeshed. How long have they been separated/divorced?

I co parent, and have always been 50/50 with my kids dad. We go through periods of being in more contact over the children and definitely were more so in the early days. It would have been quite normal for us to regularly share pics etc especially when they were younger. Co-parenting does mean parenting together and knowing what's going on while they're at the other parents house and sharing views on house rules for example. Co-parenting doesn't mean just split time. I think if your new partner is co-parenting to the degree he and the kids mum share this kind of stuff, it's a huge green flag. He's obviously not hiding it from you. You'll know if it gets too much (constant late night messages for example, or demanding a rapid response). But to me it sounds like he's involved with his kids and has a good relationship with his ex.

How long have they been separated? You’ve also not really been together that long at all, so perhaps it’s just that their general level of contact about their shared DC is quite high and you’re just aware of it as it’s so new to you?

Why is it “triggering”?

They are always going to be linked and probably in contact fairly frequently until the youngest DC is at least an adult.

Photos of their DD and updates about what she’s been doing I’d think fine, and a positive sign that he and his ex can communicate. If he’s a good dad then his role doesn’t just switch off once his children leave his house to go to their mum. Not all relationships end with scorched earth, hating each other’s guts, and the children being caught up in the middle: I think his co-parenting relationship sounds a lot healthier than the ones which do.

Did you not get the answers you were looking for on your other almost identical thread about exactly the same thing?