Menopausal, enjoy clitoral orgasm but find PIV sex boring and sore

[Kippergodzillar]

I’ve searched threads on sex issues and read so many threads that feel similar to my Situation but nothing that addresses exactly what I feel so I’m asking if it’s just me or …?

so I am menopausal but I’ve enjoyed a libido and I masterbate with a toy a few times a week which is just clitoral and I can get off really quick

but with my DP don’t want to have sex
I think looking back although the sex life has always been fine I actually think PIV is awful
boring, goes on and on - have to make out like it’s enjoyable but really just want it to be over
I think I’ve always felt this way bar a couple of years at the beginning
just the jabbing in any position over and over no matter what speed or rythem is just only good for him and invasive and boring for me

UTI’s and the mess afterwards always on me and not his issue
I feel as if there’s nothing in it for me
he would and can and does make me get off first which is great but then I know I’ve got to endure the PIV for ages and it’s sore and it comes out if I’m not concentrating on keeping my body held in the right position

I think I’ve always felt like this for 20 years

are there any other women who feel this way ? I think there’s something wrong with me
genuinely seeking others experience?

What @ErrolTheDragonsays!

While you can get OTC there really shouldn’t be any issue getting a prescription. My GP (similar age to me) told me that I’d probably need it at some point and to ask for it if sex got uncomfortable and/or UTIs when I hit menopause.

But reading your posts it sounds like apart from doing this for your own benefit anyway, you really need to have a proper talk to your husband about how you feel.

I can't think of anything grimmer than having someone grinding away in me after I have orgasmed. Why do you both do it like that? Sharing the build up and climax together is the way to go.

And as for the mess - no-one tells you about that when you are in a state of virginal innocence - such a bloody nuisance - but worth it if the going has been good!

If his actions have the character of "jabbing" then he is simply doing it wrong!

To be fair i experience is as ‘jabbing’ and it’s pretty much the type of thrusting any man would use when it comes to usual PIV sex

it wouldn’t be fair to say he’s actually jabbing away but it’s how I feel receiving it

I don’t think he would want to use oral on me After he has finished inside me and it’s not a rule it’s just what’s developed between us

even if I’ve not climaxed before PIV I still don’t enjoy it at all 😢

Can you make sure he is close to orgasm before you start sex? I wouldn't want someone banging away for ages at me either.

I really don’t like it when it goes on for any length of time either. I’m normally done by then and don’t mind a bit but thankfully dp doesn’t take long. I don’t think I could deal with what you describe!

I think there are two issues if PIV is uncomfortable there so much you can do to help aside from good quality lube both on your vagina and his penis , vaginal oestrogen is an absolute game changer along with lube .
The second issue is you not enjoying penetration you mention jabbing have you asked your partner to go much slower and in a more tender loving way jabbing makes it sound he just putting it inside too ejaculate not the give you pleasure
I think most men if they are fully aroused and having orally pleasing there partner 5 mins inside you should be enough time to cum successfully.
I think some issues could be resolved with better communication perhaps use a bullit vibrator when he is penetrating you this will help him cum quicker as he sees you cumming

This. It’s nothing to do with orgasm for me, it just feels great

If you told him you are done with the mess and it was condom or no more PIV in future, what would he say?

You can buy it online and have it delivered. A 15g tube is 30 doses. You use it once a day for 2 or 3 weeks then drop down to twice a week .https://www.chemist-4-u.com/consultations/hrt-estri