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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to separate with husband while living together, with a young child?

3 replies

dadmumplus10 · 27/03/2026 14:27

How to effectively separate with Husband under the same roof? Mostly this would be due to finances. We can't rent or buy another place. We have a child. Things have been very challenging and we have both been unhappy for sometime. On occasion, there is disrespect from both.. Lots of resentment has crept in for multiple reasons. We do have a son together who is in primary school. We don't wish to unsettle him, but feel our relationship doesn't benefit him much either. He has a great relationship with us individually. He loves family things though, when we do go away, play together or eat together so that would be devastating. We've been together 20 years. Husband has always prioritised his needs and I haven't ever asserted mine; lots of keeping the peace, red flags and I'm a shell of my former self tbh. I can't continue to live like this. I have no money of my own, no friends left/grown apart, no job/career - my dear son is my light, my life, but I need my own independence entirely and feel stuck. I am bright and capable, a creative at heart, a singer - looking for a break in a job. I want to move forward. Any advice? We already sleep in separate bedrooms and have done for a few years now. He has spoken about getting a cheap flat.. but I think him not being here at all for nights on end will affect my son majorly.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 27/03/2026 14:32

You need to separate entirely. You can't continue to live in the same house, whilst living separate lives. It's not beneficial to anyone, particularly your DC to demonstrate that relationships are built on red flags and contempt for each other.

Whether you can afford to buy or not is irrelevant, really. You'll need to move, rent, apply for UC top ups, whatever it takes because your marriage has irretrievably broken down and it is not practical to continue to share a roof.

dadmumplus10 · 27/03/2026 14:52

I don't wish to move my son out of the family home, his school is close by so are some if his friends - i'll do anything for stability for him.. we aren't arguing there's no shouting just distance right now.. we have our chats when our son is in school or bed..

OP posts:
Omgblueskys · 27/03/2026 18:01

dadmumplus10 · 27/03/2026 14:52

I don't wish to move my son out of the family home, his school is close by so are some if his friends - i'll do anything for stability for him.. we aren't arguing there's no shouting just distance right now.. we have our chats when our son is in school or bed..

Can he move out, are you working,
Op this isn't healthy way to live, your done will pick up on your feeling , why carnt you both co- parent so son gets best of both of you ,

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