How to cope following emotional abuse

[Yogisunflower91]

I’ve recently left an emotionally abusive relationship adding an extra layer I’m pregnant with his baby (not continuing pregnancy but awaiting getting that sorted, which will be in the next week hopefully)

It was a very short relationship (8/9 months) and all very wonderful in the beginning thought I’d found my soulmate, we have history in that we grew up together, our families know each other to a degree we lost touch when we were younger and then found ourselves reconnected last summer.

Anyway the relationship grew toxic to the point where he was very emotionally abusive and how he has treated me throughout and since I’ve been pregnant has been
nothing short of disgusting, I’m heartbroken and to be honest never felt so low. I feel
ive exhausted the conversation with my friends and I just feel like a massive burden on them, how many times can I talk this through, but everything feels so painful, I feel so rejected, hurt everything and on top I’m going through a termination as well.

I plan on going back to therapy, once the pregnancy part is sorted, at the moment I just don’t feel myself, I struggle to get through the day without crying and I can’t seem to find hope that things will get better.

I just wish he would take some accountability and recognise his behaviour but I know that will never happen.

I suppose I’m here just venting and looking for some kind words 🤍

Oh OP, I'm sorry you're going through such an awful time 😔 for what it's worth, you sound very brave to have left an abusive relationship when you're vulnerable and pregnant. That speaks to an inner strength, even though you're feeling so low. It's ok to lean on friends and family for support. Be kind to yourself, get through the termination and therapy afterwards will help you come to terms with all you've been through. Try and focus on you and your own needs and not give him the headspace - he is an abuser and is not going to take accountability or admit his abusive behaviour. Give yourself time - you will get through this and there will be happiness in your future again, you will get there 💐

Why delay going back to therapy? You're going through a hideous time and just to add to the turmoil you have pregnancy hormones stirring pot! No wonder you're crying everyday, who wouldn't under these circumstances?

All your focus needs to be on self care, do you have a good relationship with your family or other support? Can you just allow yourself to be cossetted for a while? I know that's what I'd want to do for my DD if she was in this situation. Alternatively, are you the focus on work, push through it type? Can you try and make plans that help distract you, even if it's just a coffee with a friend.

Sorry if I'm trying too hard to fix things, feel free to rant if that's what you need.

He will never change and you won’t be the first or last to suffer from him . His behaviour has nothing to do with you . It’s who he is . So stay focused on you . One step at a time and you will heal . This is a terrible time in your life but you will get through it and come out stronger .

@MothershipGthank you, I don’t have any family support other than two younger brothers, and a very close cousin, who is aware of the situation and supporting where they can.

At the moment I don’t have the mental capacity to go back to therapy until I’ve got myself through the termination, I’m trying to tackle everything bit by bit.

@Endofyearthanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I have a young son from a previous marriage so I just had to get out for both of us, I figured whatever I decided I would deal with the pregnancy on my own. I’ve just had to get away, thankfully we weren’t living together, so that’s a blessing. It’s just very hard to not feel isolated at the moment when all I can think about is getting through the termination as best I can. I know I’m not a burden on my friends, but it feels like there’s comes a point where things move on and my friends have their own lives/things they’re dealing with etc, does that makes sense? 🤍