Need a hand hold for this one

[rowingwithducks]

I have posted here a few times before under different names and resoundingly been given the advice to leave my relationship. I have tried numerous times but for various reasons been ‘persuaded’ not to; or just trying to avoid the drama.

but enough is enough now and I am done. I will be ok, as there are no kids together. I have a house (mine only), car, job etc.

money will be tight for a while. I have a loan that’s repaid in a year so after that things will be a bit better. But I can manage.

my life will be better without this stress in it.

my issues are getting him to leave (again want to avoid any drama if I can), and also the dog, we share a dog but inevitably I care for him. I walk him daily once or twice, feed him, pay for vets, book in grooming. He picks up tasks as and when I can’t (if I am at work) which might mean walking him once a fortnight (summer only he won’t walk him in the winter/rain etc) or dropping at groomers etc and that’s it. This dog is so important to me and he knows that, so he is going to try and use that against me to take him. He wouldn’t look after him though and it would not be in the dogs best interest at all.

I need a handhold, I am getting my ducks in a row and ready. It’s scary and I am really sad.

Are you married or just living with him.

Who actually purchased / adopted the dog ?

Whose name is the dog's microchip in ? etc.

You know that you can do this by yourself, you probably have been doing for months.
Ask the Police to help if needed.
Hope you eradicate this being and that you and the dog, live happily. 😀

Who can come round and be there while you tell him to leave?

Can you arrange for the dog to be elsewhere for a few days while you get rid? Any friends or family who could look after him temporarily?

Op - with the kindest wishes - put your dog in kennels if you have to and get rid of of the partner. I stayed because of a dog I loved so much. He would have harmed or neglected him etc. now I’m stuck and married to him because of persuasion and I hate his guts (not the dog obviously, he died 5 years ago) and I have a severely disabled child so I can’t just leave. Please whatever you do, don’t be me.

Agree with others - best pack your dog off somewhere whilst you get things sorted, then you won’t have to worry about him becoming the centre of the drama. And yes, get someone on speed dial who can be there for moral support if things go badly.

Luckily I have some friends who have offered to have the dog for me if need be.

in terms of purchasing the dog technically he made the payment but half of that payment was owed to me for household expenses so he paid it to be ‘even’ I have the message screenshot of this.

microchip, all docs etc the dog is registered to me. My name my address. We are not married just living together. My house pre relationship, my mortgage, all in my name. I’ve kept it all this was partly due to this reason and just because I wouldn’t trust him to tie my finances to his (says it all really doesn’t it)

You're not married, the house is yours, the dog is yours, you can just tell him to leave. If you're concerned about his reaction, do you have a male friend or relative who can be there when you tell him to leave? You don't have to have any contact with him once he's out. If he tries making a fuss about the dog, tell him the dog is yours and that's that - he can take you to court if he likes but he won't win. I highly doubt he will bother seeing as he does so little to care for the dog.

I have been doing exactly this. I have remained firm on him needing to leave. Obviously saying he has nowhere to go. We do have children so I am trying not to impact them too much (just not shared children) and they are teenagers so not little ones.

the house is mine and so is the dog. I just know he will want to make life difficult. I have told him I am happy for him to take me to court if he feels he’s not getting something he should be, and genuinely I would be happy to do that. He thinks he can threaten me by saying he’s had legal advice, however I work alongside solicitors for work so I have already asked them and they have advised me legally they are mine, he could challenge it but it would be a waste of his money as they said he won’t win. So that’s helping me stay firm.

Wow op you keep strong, will you change the locks, do you have Camaras as evidence incase he turns up might give you some reassurance and you could then call the police if he does turn up,
Stay strong op, 💐

I will change the locks yes. I do have cameras but he has access so I really need to get new ones.

Can you change the password to Camara, is it a ring doorbell one, you can cancel him off it