Hello....Im going through at times different menopause symptoms as us women are :) and I am on HRT which has helped immensely. I am not here to talk about HRT by the way but some days, you know those ones, when you are on that month or a few days prior, your moods are more sensitive and delicate to things and others. Sometimes you just feel meh!!
I have noticed this and made notes in my diary when it happens the most, but I am recognising it more and more and realising i need to be kind to myself, so I do yoga more, eat better, sleep earlier, go out more etc but this week, I have felt somewhat low, more so since Monday and tonight. I came away from Yoga and recognised that I miss friends, groups of women and a sense of a community and belonging. So I joined a few locally and volunteering more and excited to start them, there is part of me craving this and needing new things but I cant expect to get this with my partner im looking for a better balance now more so during those times to handle things.
I said to my partner tonight, I feel a bit down tonight, he said " I know, I can tell!" and I thought ok, great, I would have wanted a better response, he said "do you want me to cook for you?" I said no its all good (I love cooking it helps) but later on, I said Im worried these spells are making me feel low and hope they dont get worse and sometimes I am not too sure what to do... (normally its a few days a month but I guess I was looking for some kind of support) only for him to say "I hope they dont get worse as I cant handle these up and down moods of yours!"
So of course, there I was thinking, now I feel worse, I have since removed myself from him and gone upstairs to read and feel strangely better and more calm and at peace but not feeling supported. Im glad I did and felt this was the right thing to do.
This happens a lot during those times, where he will say you are moody, you were really distant that other month, you were worse last month, better this month. I feel like I am being monitored re my moods and think if I am down, how do I explain myself to him now? when really I just want him to make me feel at peace or just understand things at times. He says when you are like this, its best I am not around you, (nice I thought).
I cant be perfect all the time. The other times its fun and Im out there and happier too!
I wanted to have a real go at him and shout and tell him he is XY and Z but this time I said why did you say that? he said say what? he says he didnt say anything wrong or to offend, but that I just take everything personally and he repeated back what he said only to say something completely different. which I thought was interesting and nothing what he mentioned. He has been more demanding sexually in the last week and for me I am not in that mood at all, this has now made it more so worse for me and I am just not feeling it at all.
He is a very caring, generous, loving and passionate man, who puts me first which is lovely, however here is the however trying to understand me in that moment, results in the same way even if I say to him I just wanted you to listen to me or be there for me, he will flip/react and turn it back on me.
Not too sure what to do other than just find friendships, keep going to yoga, working, walking the dog and seeing my family. He never says he says anything wrong, its just me with the emotional issue at that time and moody and up and down but its only for those days of the month more so and also during!
So before it was all me and him and his family/friends but this has definitely changed me whenever he is like this in response to me and how I am changing too, is this right to be this way? because im not too sure if its healthy or not but I feel I want to look after my wellbeing now and my emotions as during those times they are not being met but perhaps thats too high an expectation or just to be understood would be nice. I also want more time away from him with others and I am really enjoying this more. Thank you for reading..