My partner of 5 years is an alcoholic. When I met him he would have 4 cans of alcohol each night after work to relax which never bothered me but this has got worse over time. He now drinks anything between 10-18 cans of lager a day.
This has affected his work and he was let go from his job as he was always late or not showing up due to struggling to get out of bed in the morning.
He has been out of work for over 6 months now, occasionally getting the odd job here and there ( he is self employed) but nothing that lasts.
I have been paying all the bills and everything myself which he knows I am struggling with.
He disturbs my sleep every night, I go to bed on my own and he stays up drinking. When he comes to bed he staggers around banging which sets my dogs off barking and wakes me up. He then passes out snoring while I am wide awake and have to then go and sleep on the sofa.
he sits around doing nothing all day just scrolling through videos on his phone for hours on end.
He always promises he’s got work coming up but nothing ever comes from it and there is always an excuse why that job didn’t work out.
I am at my wits end with him and I’ve told him exactly how I feel. I’ve asked him to leave but he said no and “make me”, he said he has nowhere to go.
he lives with me in my house and he is not on my tenancy. His father (also an alcoholic) has funded his drinking habit for the last few months.
Things were very good between us for the first few years when his drinking was under control but now things are so bad. He has done quite a bit of work on my house in the past which I am grateful for, we were planning on buying the house together but this is not going to happen, he never has money and any money he does get goes on alcohol. He said I am horrible for asking him to leave after the work he has done on my house which makes me feel bad. He has admitted he has a problem and he needs a beer to feel normal. His father sends him money to get beer and always invites him to the pub ( his father does nothing all day and goes to the pub every single night and this is how my partner was brought up)
I went to sleep on my sofa yet again last night after being woken up and found a towel on my living room floor which had been used to cover up a pile of sick from my partner which he had just covered up and went to bed. I was so upset and shouted at him to clean it up but he just passed out on the bed and I had to clean it so I could sleep on my sofa yet again. He had no memory of this in the morning and didn’t understand why I was upset and didn’t want to speak to him. His reply was ‘sorry I was sick for god sake’ like I am overreacting
I work from home and he just sleeps all day. There is no benefit from being with him anymore I feel like he is dragging me down but he makes me feel so guilty for not wanting to be with him anymore.
his daughter is due to stay with us this weekend and I am dreading it. She is 6 years old and he does nothing with her. I used to plan fun days out for us all but realised I was the only one doing this so I stopped to see if he would make the effort… she now spends her weekend with us sat on the sofa watching her tablet, she doesn’t even get dressed on the Saturday. They both sit on the sofa watching screens for the whole weekend.
My son is 21 and has his own place, I have started spending more time at his home when I can and he can see it’s getting me down, he tells me i deserve so much better and I know I do but why is it so hard for me to get this man out of my house?
When we have fallen out in the past he has gone to stay on friends sofas for a few days but will always beg non stop to come back, he has threatened to take his own life and the guilt always takes over and I let him back which I instantly regret.
My home is so much more peaceful without him in it. I now spend most days sat in my bedroom while he is in my living room as I can’t be around him. If I do sit in the same room as him we don’t really speak he just scrolls on his phone
Thank you for reading all of this so far, how do I get this man out of my home?