Hi
To cut a long story short I am splitting up with my partner of 11 years. The house has sold and we are both buying separately. I really didn’t want it to come to this I still really care for him we are on good terms probably because we are still having to live together.
Things haven’t been right for a while for about 4 years really, where I was diagnosed with a health condition where I had to undergo intensive treatment for near enough 12 months. Whilst having treatment my partner was next to useless and totally let me down.
I don’t want to go into the ins and outs but towards the last part of the treatment we weren’t even speaking. I felt in those 12 months he didn’t look after me, his moods were terrible and took a lot of his frustrations out on in both myself and dd, dd at the time was studying for her a levels I just think he could have stepped up for both of us. We did talk after my treatment ended about splitting up and selling the house but we decided to give it another go. I also didn’t want to make such a life changing decision after having to go
through something so traumatic previously.
Fast forward 3 years I got over his behaviour whilst I was ill or I thought I had, when the resentment reared its ugly head again.Since my illness I have to have an mri annually the
appointment was on a weekend where we were due to go away for the weekend in his much loved camper van, I knew he would ask me to move the appointment and guess what I was right! I obviously didn’t and since then
our relationship has gone down hill to
the point where I moved to my parents for a couple of weeks last summer. I have tried talking to him so many times it just gets frustrating as he doesn’t listen talks over me and makes me feel I’m making things up on occasion to the point i
think I’m going mad at times. When I came home in the summer we tried to give it another go him actually making an effort a lot more so than me as although the resentment has reared it’s ugly head I was also so sick and tired of doing everything in the house he’s not made a meal in years does nothing round the house etc. We did talk about going for counselling but he refused to go if it didn’t mean that we would still stay together, I couldn’t guarantee that!
So October this year I pulled the plug on our relationship I was sick of coming home not knowing what mood he was in, if he would speak etc in a nutshell I think he’s emotionally neglected me to the point where I’ve felt lonely in my own relationship.
We are both devastated but I don’t think he thought it would get this far but it has, since then he had done a massive u turn in his behaviour, helping round the house his change in attitude, nicer to be around that now I am
second guessing if I’ve done the right thing. I feel
so sad it’s come to this that it didn’t need to it got to the point a few weeks ago I think I had some kind of breakdown due to the house selling and the realisation we were actually splitting up but I’d been unhappy for such a long time on and off I’d just thought I’ve been given a second chance at life and would I be better off on my own. Sorry for the long post.