Feeling lonely and unloved

[Amor88]

I really need some advise and to know if I’m being unreasonable, me and partner have been together for 13 years and we have a 5 year old, I’m really struggling with how my partner treats me, don’t get me wrong he doesn’t treat me bad but he also doesn’t treat me good and he is now doing the same to our daughter, it’s like we are not a priority for him and sometimes I even question if he likes me. He’s never made a big deal about birthday’s valentines ect and even when I was in labour with our little one he went to bed and just kinda left me 2 it but then when we got to the hospital makes out that he’s the supporting other half, he went home and played PlayStation all day while I was in hospital, I then had to come home after being in hospital for 24hrs and tidy everything up and wash the sheets where my waters broke he had just left it all. And this Mother’s Day he didn’t even get me a card , we got engaged on my 30th birthday and it was like my birthday was nonexistent I feel like I’m not important to him and I don’t know what to do, he one way with everybody else and then completely different with me and my daughter, I don’t want to leave him but also how I can live with someone who I don’t feel loved by I struggle with my mental health and when I try and talk to him about it he says it’s in my head and I’m being sensitive I’m so worried what to do I love him and I don’t want to take my daughter away from her dad but I feel so horrible within myself and so unloved …. I don’t even know I’m writing this or what I’m evening looking for am I being to sensitive? Am I completely overthinking it ?

Right OP... get ready for a load of lose the bastard comments. But from what you've described he doesn't sound very loving in his actions at all. You are entirely justified to feel the way you do and just because you struggle with your mental health dont let him use that as an excuse to gaslight you. Dont let him put this on you. Already the examples you've mentioned are unacceptable. You need to take some time to really ask yourself fo you feel seen and understood by this man. Will he work on himself and make efforts to be better? You deserve the best and don't sell yourself short.

If your daughter said all this to you about her partner….what would you tell her to do?

Do you want her growing up feeling like you do now or worse?

You’d tell her no-one deserves to be treated that way regardless of how you feel about him.

Protect your daughter now and walk away.

It's never going to get better. You and your daughter deserve better.
Set boundaries and stick by them.
I want someone to celebrate valentines days/mothers days/birthdays, and I want ti celebrate their special days too. I want to feel appreciated and loved and cared for. I will do the same in return. I will prioritise my partner and my children and they do the same. These are none negotiables for me.

I waited til I found someone who brought value to my life....otherwise I was happy valuing myself and looking after my children.

I have no idea.why anyone (male or female) would put up with being treated like this. You can treat yourself a whole lot better

You absolutely have to leave, this guy doesn’t even like yoh tbh

You aren’t being sensitive. the leaving the sheets when you were in hospital is beyond lazy and selfish ..He sounds like he takes you completely for granted . I would suggest getting some therapy by yourself to talk it through before making any decisions .

How you doing OP? I was pondering this last night. I was in a similar situation to you and was remembering how lonely and scary it is with young kids when you're not being supported and also made to feel like you're the issue. Sending lots of love xx

You have a choice re this man and your daughter does not.

This is no life for you or your daughter. He is emotionally abusive towards you and in turn your child. You're not over sensitive at all; it's just a term he likes to lob at you to keep you in your place. He sees you as the uncomplaining domestic appliance to kick out at now and again.

I would also think your MH will improve markedly if you were to leave this man, a man who does not love you or his child. What do you want to teach your DD about relationships and what is she learning here. What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.