Let me start at the beginning.
My dh works in an idustry based in London, work fluctuates and he is self employed. For six months of the year he earns good money, and the rest job seekers allowance. He managed to get himself in serious debt years before i met him after marriage collapsed.
I live in a different part of the country to London, rent my own house, have my own income and pay all the utility bills. he gives me money for food, and a bit more when he can afford it.
He noramlly comes and stays every weekend to see me and dd.
As i had 2nd baby two weeks ago, I found him work where i live until April (between december and April work dries up in his industry) To see us through a horrible time, money's not great but better than none.
Last night i mentioned to him that end of march he might want to start looking for work in my area for after this job.
He said that he'd only be interested in jobs which paid more than 27,000 a year to cover his overheads.
Now 27 grand is unrealistic, for this area and for his base trade, and either he is in far more debt than i ever imagined or well i don't know.
I earn in the region of 15,000 and this covers all my overheads. 27,000 and he's is not even thinking about paying the rent. He lives on a boat so his overheads are next to nothing.
i have never known what he actually earns - and am now feeling pissed off and used that my money pays for the essentials while his money slips through his fingers.
When i mentioned this he said that we should poo, our money. Now when he's not working he borrows money of friends and sometimes me. I do not want to pool money, when he has no regular income and may take money out the account without thinking if the rents be paid.
I've always been proud of myself that i am an independent woman, and that id dh (not that he's going any where) left, i would still be able to support me and my children. But i would love some more finacial input from him, even if its only 17,000 a year it's better than fluctuating between having it and not having it. I also am dreading working full-time and looking after two kids on my own if he goes back to work in London. But feel selfish if i stop him doing a job he loves.
FFS i even bought all dd'sa xmas presents and her b'day presents cos he didn't (he does now0 have any money to contribute. I just want him to get a regular job, near me with an average salary that is guaranteed.
Don't know what to do or say, withoput him thinking that i'm being selfish constraining him to one job (which he hates idea of)
Very long .......... very boring soory. BUT HELP