Dating one month..

[neurof]

What contact do you expect as a busy pair in their fifties ? We meet once per week for dinner or lunch and once per week for coffee ☕️ r a walk. We’ve a one night away. What about phone calls and texting?. Presently we text a few times daily , just general stuff and a rate phone call . Both exceptionally busy with kids and our work and commitments and live 40 minutes away from one another.

As much as you’re both happy with. Are you both happy with the level of communication? If so that’s all that matters, not whether some other people are having WhatsApp conversations all day and FaceTiming at every opportunity. Seeing each other twice a week, particularly when you have a lot of other commitments, is well within the range of normal early on.

Thanks. I just needed some reassurance. I’d like a call a couple of times per week I think.

My experience is that men tend to be very factual with their texting and only text about arrangements. It sounds appropriate for this stage.

That sounds fine to me.

I’m 35 and can’t be arsed with dating. But imaging I was I would probably say meet at weekends and texting as when. I can’t stand phone calls so never for those.

But what works for one person won’t for others - have you discussed any of this with him? If you want calls what is stopping you making one?

Then call him. You should be able to call the person you are dating without overthinking it.

We live 90 minutes apart, see each other twice a week including overnights and we call every day. Either I call him first thing in the morning or he calls me late afternoon. We don't ask permission to call or have an agreed schedule we just ring up. We've been dating for six weeks.

That’s sounds about right to me - I’m very busy with young kids and a full time job and aim for twice a week but don’t always get that and sometimes it’s half an hour squeezed in somewhere.

I would say what you’ve done so far including the night away is within normal range though!

Then I’d talk with him about it and establish what each of your preferences are. Phone calls divide opinion I think, some people enjoy them, some people just find them awkward because you can’t read facial expressions or body language. I’m in the latter camp, I’ve never phoned a new boyfriend or girlfriend (and I rarely phone anyone to chat, except for my parents); and I think in early dating it’s actually really nice to have lots of things to talk about and catch up on when you meet and be looking forward to sharing what’s been going on when you see each other. There’s a nice intimacy and sense of fun to in-person storytelling. But ultimately you just need to communicate your expectations and make sure you’re both getting what you need to keep things moving forward.

Rather then the mundane use of modern technology and the repetitive nature of 'how are you texts' , there is a growing thirst for keeping in contact with devices of yesteryear. Have you thought about Walkie-Talkies? If gives a more direct feel rather then text and feels more personal. Amazon have a set for a 2 miles radius for just £9.99. I noticed you mentioned you were 40 minutes away but you can pick up a long wave set for just £19.99

Personally (early 50s) speak everyday normally if not seeing each other, message throughout day - often aimless chit chat.

Things vary due to work etc, but would expect to see each other 3 times a week minimum, but often more. Kids are late or mid teens so neither are that busy with kids as they have own lives

I think that’s plenty for a month in but we are all different.

Personally I wouldn’t want more than twice a week with some communication in between. But as you do then it’s about communicating that to him so you can both be clear on your preferences and expectations.

To be honest, we’re struggling in the early stages to even get once per week such are our commitments right now but he said to me last night that there’s only a few weeks left in his sports commitments and then he should have more time so hopefully my own life will settle down too!
The irony is that this is exactly the set up I’ve always wanted and now that it’s here, it’s so new to me that I don’t really know how to navigate it . Daily phone calls and more than twice per week meeting would never be what I want as it is . Maybe in a few years , I would like something more regular.