Relationship advice dating whilst going through divorce

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So, I’m seeing a guy, we’re both mid divorce. I’ve lived separately for a while and he still lives with his ex wife. They have a court date in April to resolve finances and he’s asked me to give him to July to move out. He’s done a lot of future talking but I can’t decide if it’s all too fast and if it’s a massive red flag that he’s still living there despite being advised by his solicitor to stay there until they have their court date. What do you think?

How long have you been seeing him?

if it’s a matter of weeks the future talking is always a red flag, regardless of his housing situation which isn’t great either.

I’ve been seeing him about 6months and I didn’t care at first about housing situation but it’s bothering me more now. The future talking can be very intense and too much if I’m honest.

Listen to your gut op, there's no harm done in slowing things down a bit

Way, way too fast. From my experience it takes at least 2 years for both parties to be in a healthy mindset with respect to a new relationship. I’d honestly be prepared for this to end in tears, you’re both using each other to distract yourselves from the pain of the divorce. Give yourself time to recover from one failed relationship before leaping into another.

I met a guy who was 'seperated' and he still lives with his wife 6 years later.

My main fear (as a newly divorced person myself) would be that, you might be further along in your healing journey, and coming at this in a healthier way and actually looking for connection whereas...my worry is that a man might (and I know, namalt) be looking for Wifey 2.0 and you can become the new unpaid live-in maid of all works, especially if you have a place of your own, that's potentially job done for him, roof over his head, back to the status quo of dinners cooked, sex,laundry without him having to even break a sweat or spend much time on working on himself.

I'm not trying to be harsh, his intentions could be 100% genuine but that's my two-pence on the potential pit falls.

The general advice is "Dont"

Based on your description this guy shouldn't be husband no 2

Trust yourself - if it feels too much it is.

I think I met him when I was very vulnerable and now I’m coming through the other side and thinking this isn’t perhaps very healthy, we’re both still very embroiled in our divorces and the fact he doesn’t have physical space yet has become a concern/ turn off.

You’ve posted about this recently?

There is no way I’d be having a relationship with someone at his stage. Not fair on anyone. Friendship yes maybe, then see if it progresses once he has a place of his own.

So you only found out in Sept that your husband was cheating on you and you’re already in a 6 month relationship with a man who still lives with his wife.? You just have got together literally days after you split with your DH.

Cone on this is madness. It’s far too much too soon. You’ve not paused for breath after your marriage fell apart. You can’t be in the right headspace to make good choices about dating.

Take time out to be single, let yourself heal and only when you are in a better place then think about dating again.

You are probably way more vulnerable than you realise

I think separation should be immediate.