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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner promised support then went to pub and stopped contacting me

3 replies

Resetrefocusanddoit · 21/03/2026 12:50

I let him back in. It was going better. Not great. He thinks hes doing really well but his words and actions are always not matching up. Midweek i had a email come through that rattled me emotionally and mentally and sent me spiralling - he said he would call me after work to check i was ok - he didnt - he decided to go to the pub instead and when I called him he got really angry and defensive - when I say I was rattled i was in a bad way i needed some support and just be listened too bounce ideas back and forth etc anyway he left the pub and we had an argument on the phone, he was as always very defensive and abrupt speaking over me and generally not listening i said I needed someone to talk too and I needed support to which his reply was "go and get it from someone else and leave me alone" which ive done - I hung up and its now 3 days after this incident and hes not contacted me. At first I was upset, how can he know how low and mentally not ok I am and not contact me - but now I feel relieved hes gone but im worried im going to become down again because I just cant

Its been 2 years and it that time hes walked out on me 3 times and this was my last time and I bloody regret it now... any tips on staying strong and knowing this isnt alright ill take them all!

OP posts:
ScorpionLioness79 · 21/03/2026 13:06

There's no way around getting through all the stages of mourning the end of a relationship, even if it wasn't the right one for you.

Once and for all, block his number. Go no contact, cold turkey. Don't search his socials to see what he's up to. Don't ask his friends what is going on with him. Feeling down will be normal because you're not a robot. Think of it as a necessary stage, but don't wallow too long that you're not going on to the next stage of healing.

For now, pamper yourself by cooking your favorite meals. Meet up with a girl friend for a fun outing. Try a new exercise program. Read books on how to boost your self-love, since that's probably lacking if you stayed so long in a dysfunctional relationship. Good luck!

Resetrefocusanddoit · 21/03/2026 13:22

ScorpionLioness79 · 21/03/2026 13:06

There's no way around getting through all the stages of mourning the end of a relationship, even if it wasn't the right one for you.

Once and for all, block his number. Go no contact, cold turkey. Don't search his socials to see what he's up to. Don't ask his friends what is going on with him. Feeling down will be normal because you're not a robot. Think of it as a necessary stage, but don't wallow too long that you're not going on to the next stage of healing.

For now, pamper yourself by cooking your favorite meals. Meet up with a girl friend for a fun outing. Try a new exercise program. Read books on how to boost your self-love, since that's probably lacking if you stayed so long in a dysfunctional relationship. Good luck!

Thank you. I have some stuff still thats worth 300 ish £s at his house and my sister has said she will get it back for me so once ive organised that via sister ill block him completely. Just cant believe hes done it again to me after all the bullshit words he gave me. Just bloody horrible

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 21/03/2026 13:30

Well take a deep breath and stop being surprised. Refusing to recognize that this is who he is has gotten you into this mess. Learning to be clear eyed and watch what people do and not what they say they will do will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life.

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