Partner not interested in sex after six months, advice needed

[Bankiebabe]

Been with my partner 6 months I absolutely fancy him like mad. He is 10 years younger than I am .

When we first got together the sex was amazing now nothing. He admits sex is not a priority for him . He was groomed by a 24 year old female when he was 15 and they had a child together when he was 16.

i try to be understanding of his past experience , but the lack of sex It is getting for me and I am beginning to feel resentful. He says admits its his problem and he is working on it but nothing seems to change.

Our relationship is good apart from this issue. He loves cuddles etc but not sex

I Haven’t told anyone in RL as Im embarrassed I guess I absolutely adore him but this issue is eating at my confidence and peace of mind. Any advice would be appreciated

How old is he?

Just be friends

He is 41 and I am 51

Leave him. It won’t get better. It will only get worse.

Nope.

Time to move on. Six months is way too short a relationship to include a noticeable dead-in-the-bedroom patch.

He’s not relationship-ready, unfortunately. Waiting and hoping he will change isn’t going to help; if it was important to him he’d have done something to address his trauma in the last 20 years.

In all honesty it reads like he may be trying to live out some kind of compulsive repetition fantasy where he gets together with an older woman but when he asks her to stop having sex with him, she agrees and leaves him alone.

Thank you for all the advice I am reading all the comments. A lot to think about .

I've an older woman thing, brought about by circumstances your partner went through. For me it's the initial chase, seduction and act. Once achieved then I switch off. These are short-lived affairs. It has nothing to do with them. It is simply a sexual attraction.

Leave him. Whatever issues he has around sex are his to resolve. What you are seeing shows exactly what his preferences are within a relationship i.e. very limited sex. Men like this will destroy your self esteem as you fold yourself in half to try and make them want you.

After 6 months you’re not partners. He’s your boyfriend. And you’re only six months in. I’d leave him. You are not there to fix damaged men.

Resentment kills relationships. It won’t get any better, I’d end the relationship now.

The fact he was groomed by an older woman and he's with an older woman 10 years older again suggests he is in a self destructive pattern, this relationship is not healthly for either of you.

It doesn't get better with low sex drive men. I'd advise you end it now, otherwise you're in for a lot of misery and insecurity.

Thank you for your advice. I am reading your comments and taking them on board

I find at 52 the term boyfriend doesn’t sit well with me but I get your point Thank you

Absolutely this. 6 months in I would expect to be shagging at every available opportunity not having a dry spell already.

As you say he’s had 25 years to seek help for this issue. The fact he hasn’t isn’t a problem for a partner to deal with

Until he deals with his trauma he’s not partner material

I think he has all sorts of issues from having been groomed in the past. Very understandably, it’s affected him a great deal and he isn’t going to be able to just switch that off. He needs a lot of therapy and you aren’t going to be able to fix him (nor should you try). It’s not his fault (or yours) but this relationship isn’t going to work.

Thank you for your comments i appreciate your honesty. As I said, at the beginning of our relationship the sex was really good so that is leaving me confused also. I need to accept we want different things from this relationship and put myself first .

Yes, you have to realize the honeymoon period is never reality. The person who emerges after that period is what you should base decisions on. No matter his other good traits, a mismatch in sex should be a dealbreaker when it's to this extreme.

Thank you for all your helpful advice. I know what I have to do.